YOU Know Where to Find Me

(Snapped on 1/26/11)

As I mentioned last post, putting my house on the market was instrumental to kicking off my big purge of 2011. After tackling all the obvious things like - organizing (see below), thoroughly cleaning, bringing my contractor in - to fix what was broken, boxing up stuff in anticipation of the move, and taking tons of unwanted junk to Goodwill - I kinda segued to straightening up other areas of my life...which somewhat surprisingly, seemed in more disarray than even my household had gotten.

(Snapped on 12/01/10)

The attic of my studio before it's major overhaul...

(Snapped on 1/14/11)

...and after...aaaahhhh...much better

Assessing whether or not social networking was a viable venue through which to promote my "art", was at the top of my new "to-do" list. I considered every aspect of my presence on Twitter, Facebook and flickr, and what I concluded was this: I had grown disenchanted with all three...for a wide variety of reasons. First off, I couldn't really see where I was reaping great returns from perpetually plastering my pics. all over the internet (and by the time I finally split - that's practically all I was doing) In making my self-portraits so abundantly accessible, was I not also essentially devaluing them? (That is - assuming they were of value in the first place) It honestly felt like folks were starting to tune me out. Understandably, they seemed to be turning a deaf ear to my constant droning on about nothing much other than my pics. and my blog. I was shouting tweets and status updates - into a virtual echo chamber, which was a leetle demoralizing at times. Conversely, some of the attention that I was still getting, verged on being invasive, pandering and piteous...which was anything but consolatory, and made me retreat even more.

In the beginning, I had high hopes that Twitter and Facebook would facilitate exposing my work to a wider audience - and they did! Surely this meant that I stood a better chance of getting more recognition as a self-portraiture artist...right? Ummm...not so much...

I still don't know for sure if the limited response to most of my contributions to FB and Twitter - was because my stuff isn't worthy of being acknowledged, or if people in general aren't inclined to help or even encourage each other. Could it be, they don't wanna see anyone else get more than they have? Perhaps. Unless of course, they already do have more...and on the rare occasions that people with "clout" have expressed an interest in my work and a willingness to help me in whatever way that they can - they don't. They just dangle the offer like a carrot. I have never understood this. Whenever I feel inclined to try and help someone, I do it...sometimes without them knowing it, and always expecting nothing in return.

I don't mean to sound like my time spent social networking was all bad. I definitely made a few really good friends, and reconnected with some that I hadn't heard from or seen in years. And the nurture that I felt from this handful of gems - never did and still doesn't go unnoticed by me. That being said - during the three weeks that I've been off of Twitter and FB, out of 750 followers and friends collectively - 12 whole people have contacted me...and two of those only did so, cuz they were miffed that (they mistakenly believed) I'd deleted and blocked them on FB. None of this was at all surprising to me, and my feelings definitely aren't hurt in any way...instead, I feel it absolutely validates my decision to flee.

The wonderful Pixiq article that benevolent stranger - Haje Jan Kamps - wrote about me and my self-portraits, is an example of how social networking can be a positive thing. As soon as it went live, I waited anxiously, wondering if the article would trigger my big "break". But after a flurry of interest and only about a week's worth of time, the article seemed to have all but vanished from the site. Good god...was that my fifteen minutes of fame?! And that's when I started to really question whether or not - my pictures even qualify as art.

Maybe my ex is right...maybe I'm delusional to think that my obsession with dash photography is a viable art form, when it may be nothing more than a dead end hobby. The way I look at it - just because someone spends the majority of their time, doing something that they truly love to do - doesn't automatically mean the results will be praiseworthy.

I cringed as I reflected on all of this, embarrassed that I'd been so sure for so long, that I was doing the right thing by forcing my pictures on Twitter followers and Facebook friends. When in all probability - they'd grown tired long ago - of my incessant, shameless self-promotion. Before officially leaving FB, I'd gotten into a daily habit of deleting "friends" who were anything but, as well as "hiding" people whose updates annoyed the bejeesus outta me. But now there I was, left to wonder - had I become one of those people? Quel horreur!

All it takes is a few stiff liquor drinks, and I'll do practically anything. As was the case the night that I gathered the courage to douche my FB and Twitter accounts. And you know something? I didn't regret it in the morning...

(Snapped on 1/27/11) 

Right after I quit whoring myself out on the internet, things got mighty quiet and QUICK. I did miss carrying on conversations with several friends old and new, and the cheerful, upbeat witty posts of one or two...and for a moment, I thought I might've made a grave mistake. But weaning myself off of the social networking tit - wound up to be much easier than I ever expected it would be, and I honestly haven't noticed any negative side effects since leaving. Truth is, I'm far more productive than I ever was before, snapping boatloads of photos nearly every single day. I only sit at my computer now, to edit pics. or to write, and because of that - I spend more time with my kids, go to bed at a reasonable hour, and my stress level is dramatically lower.

At first I thought that what I was doing was maybe hiding from, or running away from certain problems, but I prefer to think of this as my way of "unplugging" - which is completely in keeping with my "living simply" bent. And I have to say, without the distraction of constantly wading through all of the (or composing my own) - inane, whiney, attention-seeking updates and tweets on Facebook and Twitter - I am far more focussed on the things that I truly love best: parenting, photography and writing...

It's still hard for me to gauge whether or not my self-portraits are actually art, but whenever someone asks, "So, what do you do?" I reflexively answer with, "I am an artist"...

Clearly I'm incapable of completely cutting the cord, since I've continued to blog despite my aversion to social networking, but I have decided to do a few things the old fashioned way...the way that artists got exposure before the internet existed. And if nothing else, I should find out fairly fast - if what I'm doing is indeed art...or is not…