Friday, December 28, 2012

Disappearing Act

As many of you know already, I havta go away for a little while...I'll be back in no time, though. See ya' then...

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Off In La-La Land

I left my house at noon on Christmas Day, and ended up getting snowed in at a friend's house until this morning - when I was finally able to get my car out. So sorry that I didn't post yesterday - but I simply wasn't able to, since I didn't have access to my computer, or my pics.... 

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Monday, December 24, 2012

Alice In Winter Wonderland

A great, big, HUGE Thanks - to Slim and Duffy for loaning me props for this shoot!

Saturday, December 22, 2012


Thanks so, so much to Jimmy and his Dad - for helping me figure out the knife trick!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Like A Deer Caught In The Headlights

Today in court I received a 6 month sentence for two counts of trespassing, all of which was suspended except for two days that I havta spend in jail - next weekend...that is of course - unless I screw up again over the course of the next 6 months (not only in Virginia, but in any other state as well). If that happens, then I must reappear before the judge who warned me today - that under those particular circumstances, I will most likely be required to serve out the rest of my sentence.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Weight Of The World On My Shoulders

Nah...things aren't nearly as bad as all that. But I do havta go to court tomorrow - so I am a bit stressed out, tonight…

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Somnambulist

...Was I really walking in my sleep?...Or was I only dreaming...

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Life Of The Party

Leaving' to go to a party in a minute...hopefully the night won't end up like this...

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Happier'n A Pig In Shit

I did some work today, for my good girlfriend with whom sadly - I haven't spent much time at all, over these last few months. We chit-chatted cheerily about this and that, and at some point during our conversation - we reminisced about the hella fun photo shoot I staged months ago at her boyfriend's farm, with his passel of prized Large Black Hogs.  

Knowing that I wouldn't have a chance to stage any new selfpics today, but that I still needed to decide on which of my older self-portraits to post - I thought it fitting to feature not one, but two of the pig pictures in my girlfriend's honor - since for one thing, she was instrumental in seeing that this wacky idea of mine came to fruition way back when...and secondly, because she provided me with the welcome opportunity to earn a chunk of much-needed cash - today...THANK YOU!

Oh and also, Thanks again to her boyfriend - for granting me permission to stage this shoot on his property, with his rare, heritage breed hogs...and for sending his righthand man over that day, to make sure that nothing went wrong. Because of all that you guys did to make this shoot possible (pigs included!) I wasn't only happy by the time I was done, I was literally wallowing in shit :D

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Tootin' My Own Horn

Ok so, turns out I was wrong about the dates that I was to appear as the the Featured Artist on the EraGallery website...the column went live today - instead of tomorrow! Nice!

Thanks again for everything, EraGallery Team!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

It All Comes Out In The Wash

Met two of the nicest guys, while I was at the local laundromat snappin' some selfies...

They were friendly, and helpful - and even agreed to be in a few of the pics. alongside me :)

THANKS Guys!!! I never expected this shoot to be so darn much fun!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Blind(folded) Luck

(Snapped on 8/02/10 - in an abandoned house that I actually own, so it's cool)

I was so excited to learn yesterday, that the above self-portrait has been selected to appear on the EraGallery main page, in their December 2012 Lightbox Exhibition, along with the works of only 11 other artists who were chosen from the thousands who sent submissions to be considered for acceptance into the online art show!

Additionally, my artist profile will appear on EraGallery's Featured Artist Column - from December 12th through the 16th...I am totally stoked - THANK You, EraGallery!!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Can I Come Out Now?

(Snapped on 11/30/12)

All right so...after weeks spent feeling mostly aimless and lost - I finally had a lightbulb moment, sometime last evening...and since today is the beginning of a brand new month, and tomorrow is my 44th birthday - it seemed a good enough occasion to unveil and initiate my brand new Big Ugly strategy.

 Here's the deal...

It wasn't images alone that got me into the trespassing trouble, it was also what I wrote to accompany those dastardly pics....and because of that, I'm starting to think that it might be best if I say as little as possible (if anything at all) about the selfpics that I post in the future. Which is a bit of a bummer since I really do love sharing the details of each shoot - but for now at least, I believe that a self-imposed gag order is simply a matter of self-preservation.

Since I will no longer be burning up precious time fussing with the text in my entries - I'm thinkin' it might actually be possible for me to start posting a single self-portrait a day, from now on (rather than the weekly series of related pics. that had kinda become my norm). I won't be staging daily shoots however, and so to fill in the gaps - I shall pluck older pics. from the archives, and intersperse them in the mix whenever necessary.

This new format will be very similar to the way my "Big Ugly B-Sides" on tumblr. used to be, for the first year or so that I had it up and running: random images posted daily, with no verbal explanation, but hopefully worth a look-see, nonetheless...

I'm not a big fan of change, and yet - that's exactly what this is. Oddly enough though, I'm excited about this alternate approach to blogging about my self-portraits. And I can only hope that you guys are, as well...

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Bigger Is Not Always Better

(Both pics. snapped on 11/26/12)

I'm not gonna lie you guys, it definitely feels like I'm starting all over...I'm green I tell you - muh fuckin' GREEN! (But then again, you can probably already tell that just by looking at these pics..)

I'm not convinced that the Amazon-ish characters that I attempted to portray at this adorable, miniature cottage in the woods - are even remotely believable, but what I do know is that it made me insanely happy to get off my duff, and go stage a moderately elaborate selfpic shoot (albeit a tad bit disappointing, and not a terribly bounteous one...but whatevs).

I also know that I am forever grateful to the handful of people who continue to urge me to keep making my art. I've had tons of doubt about a lot of different things lately, which has only made your encouragement that much more valuable, Thank You! I hope that you (my readers) will continue to bear with me while I recharge and recondition myself, and take the slow and small steps necessary to (seriously) dive back into this nonsense again...

 BIG hugs and mega LOVE to my friends who not only invited me to get back in the game by shooting at their teeny tiny forest playhouse, but who also put things in a different (and much more appealing) perspective for me...Thank You so, so, SO much!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Welp? It's Official...

My first court appearance will be on Dec. 20th. Unfortunately though, I've been told that my final court date will probably be pushed out as far as late January 2013 - maybe even into February.

My plan has been to wait until this nightmare was resolved once and for all, before deciding how (or if) I should keep this silly blog of mine alive...but if I hold off for that long - I'm pretty sure that it'll end up to be curtains for The Big Ugly...

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Deep Doo Doo

I am being criminally charged with two counts of trespassing (misdemeanors)...each count carrying a maximum sentence of 12 months in jail, and a $2500 fine.

Obviously because of all of this - I won't be taking any risky selfpics anytime soon...and to be quite honest about it, I've lost the desire to take any at all. I'm sorry you guys...I hate that I'm letting you down.

I absentmindedly snapped this self-portrait on Monday, while I was out taking pics. with my phone. At the time I had no idea that it would most likely be the last selfie that I post for awhile...maybe ever.

Friday, November 2, 2012

A Golden Opportunity

(Snapped on 8/22/10 - at the Virginia Museum of Fine Art, in Richmond, Va.)

A collection of my self-portraits was recently added to 1650 Gallery's "Artist Spotlight" webpage (<------ kindly click here please, to view if you'd like), along with the portfolios of photographers: Osmyn Oree, and Mark Hedengren. I am beyond grateful to 1650 Gallery for featuring my work, thus enabling me to gain more exposure as an artist - Thank You so much for providing me with this auspicious opportunity to reach a broader audience!!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Riding Out Hurricane Sandy

(All pics. snapped between 10/29/12 and 10/31/12)

On Monday of this week, folks living on the East Coast here in The States - were bracing themselves for the dreaded arrival of Hurricane Sandy. Those of us who live slightly more inland, were preparing for the smaller scale of havoc that she would wreak here as well - with her anticipated inches of torrential rain, and high sustained winds with gusts slated to reach up to 70 mph. Naturally power outages were expected, as trees would predictably become uprooted from the saturated ground, during the hours-long onslaught of Sandy's relentless winds.

My kids were with their dad that night, and so instead of staying home to ride Sandy out all alone - I packed up what I considered to be the most critical storm essentials: some candles, a bottle of vodka, and my camera equipment - and drove to my old friend's house to stay the night. I don't know about you guys, but I believe that the best way to weather any sort of catastrophic storm like this, is to do it with someone you fancy. 

I pulled up to my old friend's house a few hours before Sandy was to finally hit our area - luckily though, I found plenty of activities to keep me busy in the interim... 

I tried to make myself at least somewhat useful, by tidying the basement a little...

...but I quickly grew bored of doing stupid, ole chores - so...I went out to my friend's garage to have some fun for awhile.

I was tired and hungry after all of that roller skating, so I took a load off and ate an apple on the big bay window sill.

But then, feeling sort of guilty about slackin' off the way I had been, I went back to doing what I could to earn my keep... 

...and after all of my work was done, I messed around some more - but then kicked back and chilled until Sandy'd finally run her course… 

Sunday, October 28, 2012


(First two pics. snapped on 10/22/12)

I know that I let my ever compounding cynicism determine the tone of my posts on here, sometimes (possibly even too often, these days) - but the events surrounding the shoots during which these pictures were made - have me believing (if only momentarily) that there is still "good" in the world, and have also helped to restore my flagging faith in mankind...

I received an email, a couple of weeks ago - from a guy whose neighbor had recently told him about me and my selfpics (click here to read the Little Pretties entry in which I explain how the neighbor found his way to The Big Ugly). In his note to me, the nice man (let's call him "YNF") extended an open invitation for me to come to his place and take pictures of and/or with his 1954 Chevy Belair, as well as anything else that I should find there, that might tickle my photographic fancy. 

The very next week, I took YNF up on his incredibly generous offer - and despite the reservations that my best friend Curleymoe had about me going alone to the home of some stranger who I literally knew nothing about - I packed up my cameras and a bunch of different costumes, and drove to the remote piece of property where YNF lives.

Curleymoe is probably right about me being too willing to put myself in potentially dangerous situations, for the sake of chasing down a new lead...and I will admit that I did become more and more anxious, the further away from civilization that I got, and the deeper I drove into YNF's property - however - I knew as soon as we introduced ourselves, that in YNF's case at least - I didn't havta worry about any threat of peril...he simply could not have been an nicer.

After showing me around, YNF went to work in his shop, and left me to do my thing unhindered. I spent the first two hours snappin' pics. with my film cameras and phone - of the old cars (there were several others besides just the '54 Chevy), a fantastic, old bank barn, and an abandoned house standing solitary in the middle of a corn field. I wasn't in any particular hurry to wrap things up and leave, because it was my ex-husband's day to have the kids - and since YNF had never indicated that there was any special time that I should be done and gone - I changed into one of the costumes that I'd brought, and initiated the self-portrait portion of the day's events...

...and after firing off only maybe 20 frames or so - YNF dropped a bit of a bomb on me, completely out of the blue...he said, "I have to go and run an errand real quick, my wife may get home before I return...I haven't yet told her that you're here."...Ohhhhhh...whooops...

He said that she'd be home in about 30 minutes, so I kept shooting while also trying to keep track of the time in my head, thinking it might be best for me to scram before she arrived...but somehow I goofed, because she arrived before I'd managed to scram...

I nervously walked over to her as she got out of her car, told her who I was and explained why I was there - and although she was surprised (and rightfully so), she was far more pleasant than I would've ever expected, and even allowed me to resume staging my pics..

I didn't stay for long though, it just felt like I was intruding at that point...

(Snapped on 10/22/12 - using an iPhone and Instagram filters)

When I checked in with YNF to see if I'd gotten him into trouble with his wife, he said that everything was fine, and then he told me that I was welcome anytime, to come back to take more pics....I was seriously blown away by his limitless generosity. I was also eager to return so that I could stage some selfpics at that farmhouse that I'd seen in the corn field, and in order to do so - I would have to park at YNF's place, and walk to the old house from there. When I asked for his permission, he said, "No problem"...such a cool guy...

Now the farmhouse is on someone else's property, but I never worried about getting caught trespassing there, because it's so swallowed up by the vast sea of corn stalks that surround it - how on earth would anyone ever know that I was there...

(Last five pics. snapped on 10/25/12)

Seriously, out of all the abandoned houses that I've been in by now - this one gave me no reason to fret over whether I might get busted or not. Which was quite honestly, a welcome relief.

I began by shooting the pictures in the broken window (seen above) and after snapping the 14th one, I hopped down from my perch, went over to my camera to review the last frame, set the camera back to capture mode, looked at the screen before setting the timer, and screamed, "Oh my GOD!!!" There was a man looking straight at me through the far window! I was horror stricken! I quickly ducked down, frantically pulled on my jeans, and threw on a shirt - hoping to be clothed before the man came around to the rear of the house where I was.

I don't remember ever shaking so much from being scared hands trembled uncontrollably as I approached the man (plus two others that he'd brought along with him!) and prepared myself for whatever might ensue. It was just the most awkward and uncomfortable thing ever. What if he was angry in fact, that he felt that he should call the cops on me? Out of the two possible outcomes that ran through my head though - the cops coming was by far the better alternative. Let's face it, there were three of them, and only one of me (and they'd seen me naked!) - and if they'd wanted to - they could easily have had their way with me...not a soul on the planet would've known...

It went nothing like that though, because as it turned out - the man was unbelievably mellow about the whole thing. Confused? Absolutely. Amused? Yes indeedy. But totally sweet, and understanding, all the same...matter of fact, he even let me stay to finish my shoot - all by myself...I was shocked.

So see? There really IS still a smidgeon of good left in the world (in my world, at least) and I want YNF, his wife, the farmer, and his two friends to know that their kindness and generosity is sincerely and deeply appreciated by this weird, naked, self-portrait artist - Thank You ALL!!!