Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Big Pig That Couldn't

Hey, so guess what today is? That's right - it's St. Patrick's Day...but that's not all - it also happens to be the one year anniversary of my first official, cheap cam. 10 sec. timer self-portrait shoot - that's HUGE! And to celebrate this festive occasion, I have decided to deviate from the dark side for a spell, by completely fabricating sharing the lighthearted(ish) story, that corresponds with the pig, er um - pics. that I've included in this post. goes...

Once upon a time, a wayward and directionless circus performer, met up with a large and lugubrious pig. Within moments of first introducing themselves, the two became fast and famous friends.

The unemployed circus performer quickly learned that Miss Piggy was more down on her luck, than even she was - cuz ya' see...Miss Piggy had mere days before she'd be hauled off to slaughter (this part of the story is true...)

After dabbing their tears, the perpetually optimistic circus performer, formulated (what she thought was) a promising plan..."I know...let's run away and join the circus  - together! I'll teach you some tricks and the whole world will love you...and instead of becoming someone's breakfast, you'll be coming V.I.P. - to every seated dinner!"

But Miss Piggy was a realist, and skeptical of the circus performer's hair-brained idea...not to mention highly insulted by her ridiculous requests...

...and she (understandably) retaliated with redoubtable rage!

Having reached a bitter stalemate, Miss Piggy sunk deeper into her rightfully-deserved depression...while the circus performer sulked on account of the sow's unfathomably unshakable insouciance.

But in no time at all, they were back on their feet - determined to spend Miss Piggy's last days...together. Two new, but dear friends...doing the things that they loved to do best...


 Happy St. Patrick's/Self-Portrait Day!


  1. Aw THANKS, Julie! (So nice to hear from you!) A book, huh. Hmmmm...ya think?

  2. Oh, wow, this is exceptionally good, Lauralyn!! Completely hilarious... except I don't think I'll be having bacon for breakfast in the morning! How did you coax those expressions out of Miss Piggy? If I didn't know better, I'd think she was a trained pig!

    FWIW, they say that pigs are the smartest farm animals... smart enough that they actually do get depressed when things aren't good... so maybe Miss Piggy's expressions were actually what she was feeling?

    PS: I voted for your People's Choice portfolio

  3. So happy that you got a KICK outta this one, Steve! It was definitely a very cool shoot, totally different than what I'm used to. Miss Piggy was an undeniably intelligent animal, and I DO believe that she experienced a wide range of emotions during our 30 minute photo shoot (I didn't have the heart to put her through more than that) She looked genuinely uncertain but also happy, at times...and she seemed to be quite irritated with me, by the end, haha! She's not trained, per se - but her owners do have a couple of young kids, so Miss Piggy is used to being around people.

    Oh and, thank you so MUCH - for voting for my submission to the "Power of Self", that's AWEsome!

  4. fantastic! bestwishes with the contest.

  5. THANK You, on BOTH counts! I'm deLIGHTed that you found your way to The Big Ugly!

  6. Done. Any chance at all to support your work. And you know, I believe I suggested you put these in a book way back in your Facebook days ... :)

    Your work demands to be collected. There's so much implied narrative behind it all. I look at them and see stories.

  7. Lauralyn, these are *beautiful.* I'm not going to tell you any killer pig stories, though.

  8. @Nathan - Thank You, THANK you - kind Sir! I'm still mulling over the whole book thing...just not really sure how to do it, exactly...or even if the timing is right. Plus, I guess I was thinking that Julie was talking about only the pics. in this post - specifically...Anyway, I'm just darn glad that you came by, AND that you cast your vote my way! :)

    @Copeland - Dude...I have been thinking about you so much, lately...and I totally suck for not calling you in forever (Imma change that real soon though, I promise). But about the pig thang - check out the pics. I put up on my Little Pretties site:

    I spent hours yesterday, tromping around an old pig farm...there was plenty of fresh blood (among other other gory tidbits) to inspire many a "killer pig story"...woah. And HEY! If you LIKE this post (or ANY, for that matter) please don't hesitate to tweet it or share it on FB ('specially since I can no longer do it myself) Thanks for BEin' here, Copie...I'll talk to you soon!

  9. Your link to your sister site has an error. You need to include the H in the URL, as in (h)ttp://thelittle...

    Love the site, miss you on OKC, and I rated your Peoples Choice submission... good luck, keep on kickin ass!

  10. THANK You, John! For ALL of that! I think I fixed the glitch with Little Pretties..and yeah, out of all of my social networking sites (I know it might seem strange but) I definitely miss OkC the most...I had a TON of fun for the two + years that I was on there.

    Thanks also, for taking the time to rate my Power of Self submission - drinks on me, if I win!