CHEAP CAMERA/10 SECOND TIMER SELF-PORTRAITURE

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Up a Creek


(All pics. snapped on 5/17/12)

I've been staring at these pictures on and off for more than a week now, trying to decide what (or what not) to write about the blessed things. I mean, let's be honest here - these snaps are one-dimensional, homogenous, redundant...they're boring. Suffice it to say, I've not exactly been sitting here furiously composing poetic prose in their honor...quite the contrary, actually. Meh.  


Perhaps the most frustrating thing about this lame-o group of pics., is that they tell nothing of the difficulties I endured while spastically trying to capture 'em. Ya' know it would be one thing if in them I was performing some sort of miraculous, daredevil feat(s) - because even if the photos still sorta sucked, at least my readers might give me an "A" for effort...out of sympathy like, "Aw, that's too bad...but hey, at least we know that you tried!". Chances are better than good though, that instead you guys are puzzling, "Tha freak made these self-portraits so hard to take?"


Please...allow me to explain...

Ok so first off - navigating my way through the briars, and baby trees, and waist-high weeds that had all but overtaken this abandoned lot - was a total bear, in and of itself (what I wouldn't have given to have had a machete with which to bushwhack a path from the house to the shed, as well as a weapon to wield in the event that I crossed paths with a SNAKE!). Once I did finally make it back to where the collapsed outbuilding sat catawampus in the water, like a freeze-frame of the Titanic as it sunk - it became clear to me that getting there had been the easy part...

Ever since I spied the old shed a couple of winters ago (while all that plant life was leafless and 14 months younger, mind) I thought that it might be cool to return sometime, to take pics. up on top of the shed's near ground level roof. So on this, my second visit - I went for it. I set up my camera, kicked off my flip flops, and took a test shot to see how things looked. Uhhhhh...I didn't even make it into frame. The toppled structure was so full of booby traps, that I wasted one or more of my precious 10 seconds on each treacherous, deliberate step. I worried about impaling my bare feet while climbing up onto the veritable minefield of rusty nails and other sharp, nasty bits. Plus the teepee shaped pile was made up of ancient, wooden boards that were either rotten and damp (so, soft and spongy under my weight) or alarmingly brittle and splintery. The sound of 'em snapping and crackling (even though I stepped as gingerly as I could) was not only disconcerting, but also loud. I kept waiting for the neighbors who I knew were within earshot, to appear and catch me in the act. Mainly though, the thought of my body getting "cheese-grated" as it ripped through the rubble on its way to the ground - convinced me to try something else.

I decided I might fare a little better, if I carefully climbed over all of that mess - and did my selfies on the backside of the shed, by the creek...and it was an improvement, but not much.

The mud in the creek was nearly knee deep, soooo...not exactly whatcha might call conducive to moving quickly between camera and pose. On top of that - the creek bed was lined with all the crap that had come off of, or out of the shed when it fell...once again, I got nervous about my feet. But when the platform that I was perching on became so wet and slippery, that I almost bought the farm several times in a row? I got pissed...and muttering, "Screw this!" I crawled back over that godawful heap one last time...


...and resorted to taking the easy way out...


...until my camera became so wet that it refused to let me set the timer anymore...

...thank the LAWD!

12 comments:

  1. I think this setting is much better than you're giving it credit for. I very much liked the one with the tire.

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    1. @Anonymous - It wasn't so much that I didn't like the setting (I actually found it to be quite beautiful), I think it was more that it was just such a tricky environment in which to try and work...and that's the part that left a bad taste in my mouth.

      I appreciate you glass half-full attitude, though! Thanks for stoppin' by!

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  2. I disagree strongly with your characterization of this set as "lame-o". The first of the set are particularly intriguing, with the building collapsing into the water and being overgrown by nature.

    The last two, stomping off to a new hole, are just fun. :)

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    1. @KBCraig - Well, THANK You! I think that my problem with this group was that I know how much effort went into getting these pics., but their serene quality belies all that. I guess I was just frustrated that I didn't nearly get out of 'em, what I put into them...does that make sense?

      Anyway, Thanks so much for sharing your positive take on things!

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  3. These pics are very cool indeed. Listen,having done more then a few self-portrait shots of myself nude outdoors, I fully understand the difficulties in try to get a pose and fix the damn camera and try to create something interesting ! You have done this very well consistenly for some time. Not easy folks ! Keep it up, your still hotter then Georgia asphalt !mr.nikon

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    1. mr.nikon - Yeah, see? I think unless you've tried messing around with 10 second timer self-portraiture, you can't possible have a real appreciation for just how difficult the most seemingly innocuous shoots can be.

      Thanks for backin' a sistah up!

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  4. Lol, although I can see how it must have been frustrating and your commentary made me laugh, I do think that the pictures came out quite lovely.

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    1. @lil - Oh, that's FanTAStic - on ALL counts! Thank you so much for visiting The Big Ugly, and for your nice commentary :)

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  5. The first three have a tremendous amount of tension... in the first one, standing on those wet sloping boards, I'm feeling like I'm about to see you hit the deck and slide into the water at any moment. The second one is terrifying! Like the whole building is gonna tip right over and drown you! The third is similar to but even worse than the first... all three have me physically leaning back the other way as I look at them as if I'm trying to pull you to safety or something. The fourth one is a completely different genre... not nearly the tension, of course, but almost like the "ghost in the distance" shots I've tried to get for years. You just need to be a little further away, but that's a problem in 10 seconds, of course. There's something fascinating about the last shot that goes way beyond the obvious "chick taking off her dress" angle. Can't quite explain it yet, but I like it!

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    1. @Steve - I actually LOVE that the first three pics. had that effect on you - especially since your description of how they made you feel, is very in line with the way that I felt while I was shooting them!

      Yeah, I've kinda got a thing for the whole "ghost in the distance" theme, as well. The only time I think I've even come close to nailing it - was in the May, 2011 entry, "The Fog is Slowly Lifting"...

      Please let me know if you put why your finger on why you find the last pic. somewhat fascinating...the suspense is KILLing me! Thanks for everything, Steve!

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    2. Figured out the last pic, I think... it's kinds like a light-skinned, well-toned and beautiful creature emerging out of an amorphous dark purple cocoon. I'd love to see a sequence of several pics, beginning with the dress pulled up just enough that it obscures your head so all you see is cocoon above and emerging creature below.

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  6. I just love the last shot also, so sensual with just your bottom nude and maybe a bit submissive? Anyway its good stuff. Check out a great site called deviantart.com/photography . They have tons of very creative stuff. I think your stuff would work great there.Don't let the name fool you, not deviant at all. Love to see you draped in wet, white gauze somwtime, your body would look great. Enjoy the holiday.....mr. nikon

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