CHEAP CAMERA/10 SECOND TIMER SELF-PORTRAITURE

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Deep Doo Doo

I am being criminally charged with two counts of trespassing (misdemeanors)...each count carrying a maximum sentence of 12 months in jail, and a $2500 fine.

Obviously because of all of this - I won't be taking any risky selfpics anytime soon...and to be quite honest about it, I've lost the desire to take any at all. I'm sorry you guys...I hate that I'm letting you down.


I absentmindedly snapped this self-portrait on Monday, while I was out taking pics. with my phone. At the time I had no idea that it would most likely be the last selfie that I post for awhile...maybe ever.

34 comments:

  1. Oh no! I love your pictures, please don't go away!

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  2. @charlotte - Ah, you're sweet - THANK You! Believe me, it's not what I want...at all. And even though I do plan on getting back into my old groove eventually, at the moment this whole ordeal has me admittedly a bit gun shy...

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  3. LL,
    Keep your head up hun! Hopefully it will all work out.
    (YNF!)

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    1. @YNF - Thank You...I'm gonna try :)

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    2. Psst... You are welcome to come back out for some more pics with my stuff! Hehehe...
      (YNF!)

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    3. @YNF - I might havta take you up on that, SERiously! Even if I wind up doing nothing with the pictures, it definitely couldn't hurt to stay in practice...Thank You so much for the offer!

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  4. Oh no no no! I've spent the last month or so reading your whole blog from the beginning, you shut it down just as I was flicking from 'need i say more' to whatever the next post was. When it kept saying there were no posts I was gutted! That's a good 5 months I can't read now :(

    TO re-iterate the first poster please don't go away! I've loved reading the blog and seeing all the pictures and it's been so great catching up because I can read loads of old posts in one hit!

    Fingers crossed you'll be back with your usual mojo soon.

    Love a lady from the UK xxx

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    1. @Anonymous - Oh, WOW! I can't believe that you started reading all the way back from the beginning! (THANK You!) I feel just AWful though, that I shut the derned thing down before you had a chance to finish...maybe I oughtta turn the blog into a book!

      I'll keep you and everyone else posted on any new developments...

      Thank You so much for leaving such an uplifting comment, I really appreciate it :)

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    2. Well, I found a link to your blog from another blog read a couple of posts and thought hmmmmmm I like this, I'm gonna have to start reading this from the beginning.

      I just love your pictures, I know some of the comments you get are very in depth about why the commenters like your pictures they talk about juxtaposition, light, costume etc... You know why I love your pictures?

      They're just really cool

      and that's the only way I can describe it.

      Here's hoping that eventually we'll see more. Got everything crossed for you xxx

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    3. @Anonymous - Thanks so very much! I've got everything crossed too :) It's such an unusual case for this area, I think it's anyone's guess as to how things'll turn out. We'll all know soon enough though, I suppose.

      I can't bear the thought that I may be done with self-portraiture...and so - per the sage advice of my wonderful readers, I am trying to rethink my methods of attacking the art form...I'm just way too wound up to be productive at all, right now...

      Thanks so, so, SO much for your support!

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  5. I hope to see your blog full of new pictures very soon, I pray that your problems become a small speed bump in your artistic life. God bless.
    AMC 11/8/2012

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    1. AMC - THANK You! I hope so too...I guess we'll all know soon enough, eh?

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  6. oh my.....so you finally crossed the path "over the line" of an uptight scared person- close and personal as they see it.....the world is so full of them and so scarce of you....maybe it is time for you to reconsider putting your art in an actual book....i do miss your pics and journeys....there's that old platitude that "things happen for a reason"....yeah....try to wrap a positive spin on your hiatus if you can...i sincerely hope to see more of your work in the near future....your fierce fan- kjean

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  7. @laughingpaintbrush - Yep...I fucked up pretty good, this time...

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  8. L, the risk of getting caught was always present and part of what i am guessing you liked about it. But you are a photographer. Your little pretties page reinforces the idea that you don't always need to be your own model. Some of the pics here show that you can be someone else's model or your subject can be the buildings themselves. My point is that you can adapt your methods without abandoning your passions. Best of luck with the proceedings. Ted

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    1. @Ted - Thanks so much :) And I hear what you're sayin' - you're exactly right. I do hope to one day feel comfortable enough to go out in search of the things that I so love to shoot. For now though, I'm really just too chicken...which is probably a good thing, cuz it'll keep me from getting into any more trouble.

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  9. your body of work speaks volumes about the passion you have, and while it seems huge now, time will show you that this is but a minor setback. the good that may come from it is that it will take the self-imposed pressure off of you to constantly update the blog, and give you some time to reconsider, refocus and renew. i fully expect you and this blog to come back soon enough, with guns blazing. in the meantime, have you considered setting up a paypal account and solicitiing support from your numerous fans? yes, i know, it feels gauche, awkward, uncomfortable. but many (many!) of out out here would be more than happy to help cover the legal fees, and in doing so, help encourage you to keep fighting the good fight. voices like yours cannot and should not be easily silenced. #freebigugly #i<3laralynn

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    1. @dcj2 - Every time I get an email notification letting me know that a new comment has been made on this post - I brace myself for the inevitable tongue-lashing, "Serves you right", "It's about time", "Couldn't have happened to a better person"-type of thing. I can't tell you how shocked and amazed I am, when instead it turns out to be sheer encouragement and optimism from readers like you. It really blows my mind, and I appreciate it more than anyone could ever know. Thank You So Much!

      I doubt that I will go the PayPal donation button route, but I am selling the only four prints of my work that I have in my possession - on The Big Ugly "Store" page. And if any of them do happen to sell, I will then make a new one available.

      I can't stand the idea that this may be the end of easily - the most monumental chapter in my life...it literally feels like I have no purpose in even being here right now. Part of me is dying to get back out there to take some new pics., but I'm hamstrung to do so - because I'm "on the radar" now...so the other part is too freakin' scared.

      Thank You again for your support - it's just incredible!

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    2. also, don't lose sight of the fact that what's happening to you now is in no way an indictment of or punishment for your work. it only means that the places you choose to express yourself need to be a little more carefully vetted (and face, it you knew that already). look at how many of your posts have included tales of people offering you their environs, either before or sometimes even *after* you've been there. when did tresspassing on private property become a critical, vital part of your work??? it hasn't. so don't let this one experience invalidate your vision - it just means you need to be a little more selective. and finally, since i'm often compulsively drawn to the role of devil's advocate, conside this: you've struggeld openly this year with the idea that you need to refocus, change things up, that perhaps you've exhausted the thematic ideas you've gotten so good at exploring - you've said yourself that several of your recent shoots have left you feeling a bit "meh". perhaps this is the proverbial kick in the pants that gets (forces) you to take on a "big ugly v2.0". in your work to date, your focus has been 1) the environemnt you're in, 2) the placement of your body in that environemnt 3) the tension/drama/contrast 1 & 2 create. you frequently (compulsively? obsessively?) go out of your way to hide your face. personally i'd love to see the next phase of your journey be one where you apply those same asthetic sensibilities shift some of the emphasis off of your physique and on to your face - profiles, shadows, extreme closeups, play with make-up, etc. Perhaps its time for you to put a coda on Chapter One dive into Chapter Two. But by no means do you abandon the story - you have so much story left to tell!!

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    3. @dcj2 - This is absolutely invaluable advice...I am such a creature of habit, I typically do everything in my power to avoid having to deal with "change" - but you are definitely on to something here, and I've been thinking about it practically nonstop, since first reading your last comment. Maybe this dilemma isn't as insurmountable as I'd initially feared...Thank You, THANK You!!!

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  10. How can I go on without lusting after your wonderful figure ? Take some time, let the shiteaters pass and your creativity will come back better then ever! Your too good to give up. Hang in there ! Patrick

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    1. @Patrick - THANK You Patrick - you sweet thing :) Maybe once this mess is finally all over with, I'll muster the courage to resurrect my love of self-portraiture, and iPhone photography...but the legal repercussions that I'm facing for my actions, have had an Achilles' heel-esque effect on me...I'm feeling kinda paralyzed, at the moment.

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  11. I, too, am devastated at this news. Having only recently discovered your blog, and having read through them from the beginning, I am so impressed with you photographs.
    Your eye for pictures is superb, your creativity is unsurpassed, and your writing is so enlightening, that I must hope that we haven't seen the last of it.
    I will keep an eye out for your return to these pages.
    Furthermore, you have been an inspiration to me, in that, as I do a lot of landscapes, and I have so often felt the need for a figure in the scene to add depth and focus, I will use your idea, and engage myself as model for some of these photographs.

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    1. @Raymond - OOOOH! I LOVE hearing that you're planning on dabbling a bit more in self-portraiture! And I am DYing to see the fruits of your labor (I do hope that you'll share some of the images with me...please?) Despite having only seen a handful of your pics., the few that I saw gave me every reason to believe that this is a direction in which you should not hesitate to go...and I am confident that the work that you create will be brilliant - Good Luck!!! (And definitely keep me posted!)

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  12. Wow, just got back in the country and saw this... can't tell you how bad I feel! But I've gotta second pretty much everything that dcj2 said, among others. Is the adrenaline rush of maybe getting caught part of what creates the tension in your work? Without a doubt. But you can get discovered by someone in a place where you have permission to shoot, and I'd think that would be where the real rush comes from. I've shot (just behind the camera; someone else was the model) numerous times in places where I had permission (sometimes even on my own little plot of land) and it was always a rush to think we might get caught. Just a thought...
    And good luck with everything! Here's hoping you're back really soon!

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    1. @Steve - No, I know...everything that you said really is true. I guess I just have it in my mind that no one around here (except for the very generous YNF!) will want anything to do with me and my selfpics....I mean, why would anyone in this teensy little community, want to be associated with a controversial artist/criminal - for having enabled her to continue making her (questionable?) art...ya' know?

      Thank You, Steve! I'll let you know how things turn out...

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    2. I'm a member of your teensy little community and I think your pics are fantastic. Looking foreward to more of your creativity after you work through your issues. G.

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    3. @G. - Nice! Thanks for coming forward to let me know that you're out there! I'm hopeful that I will figure out how exactly - to get myself back in action...SOON! This extended lapse in what has been up to this point - a pretty prolific creative period - is kinda killing me...

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  13. Your art is in now way questionable; you are an artist with the camera, as I have said before. Your pictures are well thought out and beautifully composed, and using the available light to the best advantage.
    If I may use a cliche; I would be proud to have taken any of the photographs you have in your blog.
    Please return to you efforts when you are over this nasty business.

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    1. @Raymond - Thanks very much, Raymond - SO kind, all of those things that you said about my pics. :) I did actually force myself to go out the other day to take some snaps with my phone - for the first time since the trespassing issue arose...it felt good to get my feet wet again, and I'm eager to try and generate a little momentum, which I hope will also jumpstart my enthusiasm towards self-portraiture...otherwise, I'm afraid I might shrivel up completely.

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  14. Well damn. I hope things work out for you. I love your photos.

    -sin

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    1. @sin - Thank You, Chica! As they say, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks", but if I am to ever get back into self-portraiture, I'm gonna have to do so without resorting to my usual, old tricks...it feels sort of like I'm trying to totally rewire myself, or undo muscle memory, if that makes sense...anyway, it's been one of the most difficult aspects of this whole ordeal, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let it get the best of me...

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  15. Oh sweetie I am sitting here in total shock. What a complete fucking fucker of a thing to happen. Please don't give up. You have always been such a inspiration to me, your bravery and determination to further your work and to challenge what people 'see' when we look not just at your beautiful body but the world around you has always left me in wonder for your talent.

    I am lost for words right now... please stay strong and do not talk yourself down woman. You are a talented and innovative artist, you need to firmly believe that about yourself

    Mollyxxx

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    1. @Molly - Thanks so much, Molly :) To say that the wind has been taken outta my sails, would definitely be an understatement...I'm trying' to figure out how to get it back, but it's tough now that my free-spirit has been effectively restrained by this legal headlock...most days it just feel like I'm drifting along aimlessly...it's a terrible feeling to be too frightened to pursue my art.

      But on a happier note - CONGRATULATIONS to YOU - for being voted the #1 Sex Blogger of 2012!!! That's fanTAStic news - and you totally deserve it!

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