My first court appearance will be on Dec. 20th. Unfortunately though, I've been told that my final court date will probably be pushed out as far as late January 2013 - maybe even into February.
My plan has been to wait until this nightmare was resolved once and for all, before deciding how (or if) I should keep this silly blog of mine alive...but if I hold off for that long - I'm pretty sure that it'll end up to be curtains for The Big Ugly...
i can't imagine throwing away all my paint and brushes....never taking another picture...your blog is definately not "silly"...you just got caught- that's the issue here- you will have to pay a fine and you will get a suspended sentence- be on probation....hell- that's what i got for a DUI, refusual, resisting arrest AND assulting a police officer....jump back in with both feet and use your new nervous energy to create a new look and explore some new venues....don't punish yourself any longer by letting some narrow minded jerk keep you from exercising your artisitic muscles....hey- who knows...maybe the jerk is a drunk who likes to drive around intoxicated????? hmmmmm.....let's see...what's that old saying..."what goes around comes around?"
ReplyDelete@laughingpaintbrush - The biggest problem for me has been that (more often than not) I stage my shoots spontaneously. I get a venue in my mind, where I know I want to shoot - and I go out that very day to make it happen (this is especially true for the Little Pretties pics. that I take). Prior to my run-in with the law, the nervousness that I almost always felt whenever going into a risky shoot - added an intoxicating element of intense excitement - it became a big part of what incited me to do the crazy shit that I used to do. The nervousness that I feel now - is utterly crippling, plain and simple. Gone is the cocky invincibility that enabled me to motor forth, regardless of whatever backlash might ensue. Trust me, I don't want to be done with self-portraiture...it literally defines my identity, and without it - I'll lose all sense of purpose, I'm afraid.
DeleteSoooo...I have been trying to shift gears a bit, and strategize a new approach to self-portraiture. I just hope that I can come up with a viable plan to meet my readers' and my own satisfaction...
Thanks for all of your support, kjean :)
Karma I think they call it ! No, please don't give up your passion and creativity!! Take some time,get your head straight and when you get that urge while holding your camera, it will be time again. You will know when my friend.Thinking of you...Patrick
ReplyDelete@Patrick - My wheels have been slowly starting to turn, once again...now if I could only get my butt out there to take some bloody pics. - I might actually start to make some real headway...
DeleteThanks for everything, Patrick!
I am sure that "readership" provides some form of reinforecment. Yet you would be who you are regardless of blogs, readers, etc. Just be you...
ReplyDelete@Ted - I've been thinking about this very sort of thing, a whole lot lately...like you know, blog or no blog - if making the art is important enough to me, I should be doing it regardless of whether anyone else ever sees it - on the internet or anywhere else. But falling in love with self-portraiture, happened simultaneously to falling in just as much love with writing about the pics. on The Big Ugly. It's not that I CAN'T do the pictures without the blog, it's just that the two things have always worked in tandem with one another, and since change clearly ain't my forte - its been kinda hard to accept that I simply might have to suck it up and dramatically change my self-portraiture m.o., in order to end up with selfpics that I can safely share on the blog, or on the flip side - to become this sort of renegade/guerrilla artist who does what she's inherently compelled to do (despite the possible legal repercussions) - in which case, the pictures would need to be kept on the down low...At the moment, it feels like I've reached a bit of a stalemate...
DeleteWell shit. I am so sorry to hear this hon. You take amazing photos in incredible locations - and I am gutted that this has happened.
ReplyDelete*big hugs!*
xx Dee
@Curvaceous Dee - It sucks, Dee...I guess I'll just have to look for (and hope that I find) amazing locations to stage selfpics that I can post on my blog...pictures that won't get me into even more hot water...
DeleteThank You so much for the Love :)
Once again I must state that your pictures and blog are wonderful. But you must know that from all the comments you receive. We are behind you all the way, and hope that you will take up where you left off, and continue to amaze us with your self pics in unusual locations.
ReplyDeleteIt is you vision and dedication to your art, which keeps us coming back to your blog.
Please keep going, and good luck at the hearing.
@Raymond - So sweet, Raymond - THANK You! I did go out to take some new self pics yesterday, but I'm not all that excited about how they turned out...so, still undecided about whether to post them or not...
Deletepeople here keep referring to karma, but I'm not sure they know what it really means... Sorry, I really like your project and have followed you for over a year now, but the fact remains not only did you break the law, you admitted to it and even showed documentation of it here in a public forum. You're lucky you were not caught before since you also admit to doing this previously. It's a bit difficult for me to muster up tons of pity when the situation is the natural result of choices you knowingly made. Perhaps this will serve as a lesson to exercise better judgement and common sense in the future.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - I'm not asking for sympathy - I know that what I did was wrong. I think that I've been pretty tight-lipped in the entries that I've posted recently, and tried to be brief, and matter of fact while keeping my readers up to speed on what's going on. The replies that I've written in response to comments that I've received, are are my honest reflections on how this whole thing has made me feel, and how it's impacted my art - not an attempt to seek pity from anyone. I broke the law and got caught - and I deserve to be punished for it...there's no one else to blame, I did this to myself. Nevertheless, I can't just slap on some happy face and pretend that this ordeal hasn't affected me emotionally and artistically. I am still a human being with a live, beating heart, believe it or not.
DeleteI find it interesting that you say that you like my project, but in the same breath - you chastise me for the means by which I obtained many of my selfpics. I daresay, had I not done the things that I did to get my pics. - there wouldn't have been a whole lot for you to look at over the year + that you've been reading my blog...
Well... I have kept quiet to now, but here is my two cents. While what you did may have been wrong, in many cases who would you have sought permission from? Some of those properties that you have taken photos within, frankly, either need to be condemned (which is a shame for some of the historical properties) or restored. The one mistake that you did make was returning after you were warned away.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, you have a clear talent and a voice... errr... eye.... or is that body? . If you let this silence you, you will let those who oppose art, beauty, and self-expression win. Don't. Find a way, within the law, to do the art that you love, even if it may mean that you have to go to more effort. I have said that you are good enough to be professional... or at least semi-professional with your talent. I know you have had some prints made that may not have sold real well... but there are publications that will pay. (I don't mean for nudes... or just nudes... but for some of the other cool stuff).
In closing, I hope you realize that the heat you feel right now is life tempering you, and thus changing you. Find a way to use your voice/eye to grow, evolve, and prosper! Find your success or at least happiness. And then remember that success is the best revenge.
Good luck
A voice from the darkness
@Anonymous - It's taken a few weeks for me to finally start looking for a bright side to all of this, but I'm happy to say that I do think there might actually BE one! At first I felt so defeated, that I thought my only option was to quit self-portraiture altogether...but I was so miserable during that period when I wasn't making any art, that I forced myself to snap out of my funk, and go get my butt back in gear. I'm not even all that broken up anymore, over having to remove my old entries (all 154 of 'em)...I'm looking beyond the negative aspects of "starting all over", and trying to view this more as an opportunity to make a fresh start...which I believe is definitely a positive thing.
DeleteRight now I'm mostly focussed on rebuilding my body of work, but yeah - maybe down the road a bit I can make more of a concerted effort to try and get some of my images published.
Thanks so much for offering your insight and encouragement! I sincerely appreciate it :)
Sorry to be late to this party, but I've been without my RSS feed for a few weeks.
ReplyDeleteI don't live in Virginia, but as a gun rights advocate I do follow legal issues there when it comes to carrying guns and trespass.
In my limited knowledge of VA law, signs carry little weight, if any. To be trespassed, you must be notified by the owner or his agent that you may not enter or remain on certain property. If you weren't given any personal notice about entering or remaining on the property in question, you have a strong defense.
I suggest consulting with Daniel L. Hawes, Esq., of Broad Run, VA. He's the most honest and ethical lawyer I know, even when he takes a client I believe to be guilty.
@KBCraig - Hmmmmm...that is MOST interesting! I don't have the money to pay a defense attorney, so I'm guessing I will be represented by a public defender (I'll know more about that after my first court appearance on the 20th) At any rate, I will definitely pass along the information that you shared with me. That's really awesome - THANK You so MUCH!!!
DeleteIs the person who filed the complaint unwilling to drop the complaint if you promise to never enter the property again? I can't imagine what he/she gets out of seeing you found guilty. Can you find a friend of that person or a mayor or minister who would speak to him/her on your behalf? Best wishes.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - I asked that same question, and I was advised that it would not be prudent for me to try and contact the property owners in order to apologize. Evidently they are extremely angry, and are hellbent on having me criminally prosecuted - not only because I was on their property, but also because of things that I wrote in the blog entry that featured the pictures that I took there.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you brainstorming possible alternatives to smoothing out this sticky situation, it's very thoughtful of you - THANKS!