The Morning After

WARNING! The images you are about to see ain't pretty. 

(Hey, it can't always be about the beauty shot...now can it?) 

Please proceed with caution...

(All pics. snapped on 10/26/10)

I have to admit - I did feel sorta badly about ending the last post on such a morbid note...For all I knew, you guys were sitting there at home, gnawing your nails, afraid I'd been roofied, brutally assaulted and left for, well...dead? And so to dispel any worries that you might've had about my welfare...I have returned to assure you that all is well.

See? What'd I tell ya'? Everything is perfectly fine. I came to in the morning, and although a leetle worse for the wear - it wasn't anything that a hot shower, some anti-bacterial soap, and a couple of Advil couldn't fix.

Ok so, you wanna know the truth? I didn't really crash here last night. Did I trick ya', huh huh? Even for a fraction of a second? The sad thing is, that not long ago - it very easily could've really happened...

I wonder if I'm the only one who looks at these pics., and am transported back in time - to the heyday of my old Big Ugly Blog (www.biguglytruck.blogspot.com)...I don't know about you guys, but I find them to be eerily reminiscent of that wildly reckless period when I repeatedly tempted fate, but somehow avoided danger and disaster despite an overabundance of bad choices in regards to men...oh so many men...

During that time, concerned friends would warn that if I didn't behave more responsibly, I might very well end up in a situation not that far removed from the one depicted in this photo essay...or god forbid - catastrophically worse. And yet every word that they uttered, fell on selectively deaf ears...But in looking back on it now, I couldn't agree with them more.

All I have to say is - thank goodness all of that nonsense is behind me. Somehow I escaped my impetuous period unscathed, and what a relief to be able to make light of it now...

Preparing for the dreaded walk-of-shame...

After downloading the pictures from the shoot the night before, I was seriously a smidgeon freaked out. I don't know if it was the content specifically, or if it was more a case of knowing that I had intentionally wallowed in that pile of revolting filth, in my attempt to get some thought-provoking shots...regardless - I didn't like the disquieting cliff-hanger ending to the story, and I resolved to shoot its conclusion the next morning...

Any time I leave the safety of my home to take pics., but especially during the wee hours of the night - I feel this combination of exhilaration and fear...and I dig it. But in the carport that night, I was more tremulous than usual - partly because I had no idea what I was literally getting myself into...like were there critters, or their remains, or sharp things, or was there...poo?

It wasn't until the sequel shoot, that the daylight revealed the true magnitude of disgustingness of the set...*cringe* I'm seriously not sure how I didn't slice the shit outta some, or many parts of my body - there were large chunks of broken glass throughout the sand and the other mysterious substances covering the floor. Not to mention, even after my scalding, soapy showers - I still felt like there were things crawling all over me...yoook! 

But what made the daytime shoot that much more uncomfortable, was that it was light out. Dude, I'm accustomed to that being a good thing. Problem was - the carport sits up close to the road, there were more cars than ever driving past, my lawnmower repair guy lives in the house right next door AND my boobs and ass were hangin' out! 

I did my best to stay focussed and ignore the unusual number of drivers, as well as the voices I heard coming from my lawnmower guy's yard...But I am not kidding, I was shaking the whole time! 

When possible, I try and only end a shoot after I feel that I've gotten a sufficient amount of decent frames, but I general won't quit until I like the last shot. Once that finally happened there in the carport, I think I've never been so relieved to be through. I totally lucked out too, cuz as I was putting on my jeans, I heard a truck engine turn over, next door...aaaaahhhh! 

I got myself and my stuff out onto the road and was walking towards home before the truck pulled out...

I smiled at the driver through my smeared lipstick and he waved, and as I watched him process the look I had going on - running eye make-up, burrs in my nappy hair, sand and crap on my face - I saw him do a double-take before driving away...I shudder to think what he'd have done, had he caught me posing for one of the pictures above...

But you know something? No matter how disgusting or sketchy or creepy or painful, the legwork behind gathering material for this blog could never be as messed up as what I went through for the old one…