It's All Downhill...

From Here...

(All pics. snapped on 5/26/12)

Soooo...my big plan for yesterday, was to spend it mowing my grass...(I know. My life really is that exciting - don't be hatin'), but only about 30 minutes in - my stupid mower stopped working...which, in case I forgot to mention - is pretty much the way that it goes for me anymore. 

I had to be clean, dressed, and ready to be at a certain someplace by 5 that afternoon, so since I couldn't go off and get into anything too crazy - I decided to eat up the extra time until then, doin' a shoot, and then editing the pics.. Next I had to figure out what to do, and where? It was already shaping up to be as hot as blazes out, but because my most recent blog entry featured pictures in a creek - I wanted to steer clear of anything water-related, and yet come up with something that might provide some relief from the heat. While running down the list of places that I've scouted out, recently - I remembered this cute, little, abandoned church that I'd seen, not too awfully far from where I live. The sanctuary was locked, when I was there the last time - but I had been able to get inside of the cool, dark, damp basement...wait a sec...."cool"? "dark"? "damp"? BAM!  Those were the exact criteria that I'd hoped the day's shoot might could meet.

I didn't see any point in gettin' gussied up, since I'd havta do it all over again before the evening's big event - so I stuck with simply slappin' on some makeup, hair-tying my bed-head into a messy topknot, and leaving the costumes at home in favor of posing in the nude (imagine that). 

As I passed my favorite thrift store on the way to the church though, I thought, "Hmmmm...maybe I oughtta double back and stop in real quick, to see if there's anything on the racks that might launch an idea. And as soon as I got my mitts on the vintage, black jersey dress (seen in the picture above [sort of]) visions of a church lady ran through my head. I bought everything I needed to become a Bible-thumping, prim spinster...well...minus an actual Bible, but whatevs. 

The only real trouble with the get-up, was my hair. It was frizzy and had fly-aways because of the humidity and the fact that I'd foregone washing and slicking it back before I left. But a nappy, kinky rat's nest would never do for a church lady, so I improvised. I had brought along a bottle of diet lemonade, which luckily it turns out - worked beautifully as a smoothing product/hairspray. 

Pity that after spending $20 at the thrift store on things that I will most likely never use again, plus the thing with the lemonade and my hair - the church lady set was a resounding suck fest...

...and it didn't get much better after that...

(Nobody puts Baby in the corner)

I bet you anything when I ask my young son for his opinion of this post - he'll say that he likes the first pic., but the second one? Not at all. And his beef with the remaining three will be that I do all those poses too often...and he'd be right. But that's exactly why I ask him, because kids call it like they see it...they're too honest to even be able to blow smoke up your ass.

I'm not really sure why this shoot tanked, the way that it did. It's almost as if I was so tickled with the "chairs on the ceiling" group, that I got cocky...or complacent(?)...like I just expected to be handed a whole slew of cool pictures on a platter. But that's quite obviously not the way that things went down...