Friday, March 17, 2017

Spring Break (#2)

(All pics. snapped on 3/11/17 - using a Sony Cybershot and barely edited with iPhoto)

Soooooo...YEAH! It's been awhile (gross understatement) since I posted any new pics. - more than a year to be exact! I killed my camera right around this time last year, and only just got its replacement when my kids brought one down for me at Christmastime...the other problem though, is that my laptop has now also kicked the bucket - so even though I've been able to take new self-snaps, I haven't...since there would be no way for me to upload, edit, and post them.

But, a little ray of sunshine shone down on me the other day when one of my neighbors asked me if I would go out with her and another friend to scout out some cool spots on the island where we could both take some new pictures of ourselves.  Naturally, I answered with an enthusiastic, "YES!!!" And so last Saturday, I charged up my newest cheap camera, and set out with my pals to see if we could get anything worthwhile.

Not gonna lie, I was definitely body felt far less agile, flexible, and poses were entirely unoriginal, I just wasn't feeling as though I was producing anything cutting edge or new. However, the venues in which my girlfriends and I found ourselves, were phenomenal - providing some of the best natural light in which I've ever shot. (I only edited the pics. in this post by doing a teensy bit of cropping, and straightening - chest tout!) Additionally, it felt fully fantastic to finally be darting between camera and pose again - I guess I haven't let myself realize how much I've been missing my former obsession with dash photography.

Right, so I came home with a bunch of new self-portraits - YAY! Sadly though, I had no way of dealing with them...awwwwwww. That is, until! My youngest daughter arrived at my house this past Sunday, to spend a week here on Anguilla with me for her spring break...and lo and behold, the child had brought along her laptop - SCORE!

She very sweetly allowed me to upload my new pics. to her laptop, but because we've been basically non-stop action since she and her schoolmate reached - I am only just now finding a spare minute to share some with you - my dear, neglected readers. Who knows when I'll ever be able to post a next, new set - but we'll worry about that later. Right now, I'm just ecstatic to actually have something to post on The Big Ugly!

 And now, if you'll kindly excuse me - there are two little girls here who are eager to get out of this darned shack, so that we can go spend yet another wonderful day of their spring break together here in paradise...

Hope to see you all again soooooon!

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Jungle Gym

(All pics. snapped on 2/22/16, using a Sony Cybershot, and edited with Instagram filters and iPhoto)

Ok, so several of my friends lately have told me that I look like I've "put on a little", or that I've gotten "ticker" (thicker)…and although after ardently expressing my chagrin with such unpleasant news, they tried comforting me by asserting that for me, filling out a bit is definitely a good thing…I'm afraid that I must beg to differ. After all, I am a terribly vain, hyper-self-critical woman, who plasters naked pictures all over the derned internet - the last thing in this world I want to do is to get to a point where I feel embarrassed about the way that I look in my pics..  I have to admit though, even before my friends remarked on my newly softened edges,  I'd already noticed that my tummy has become noticeably pudgier, additionally I'm showing early signs of growing a dreaded spare tire, and my upper thighs and hips have definitely taken on a much curvier shape than I care to acknowledge (ugh). My booty, oddly enough - is still as deflated and droopy as ever, go figure.

So anyway, what does all of this mean? Welp, I think it's time that I face the brutal reality that I've finally reached an age (forty fuckin' seven, goddamnit) where I can't get away with simply keeping my food (carb) intake at a modicum in order to try and stay thin…looks like I'm gonna havta come up with some sort of regular exercise regimen (dag).

I'm perennially short on cash these days, so I'm reluctant to spend what little I have on a gym membership. That being said, dipping into my grocery fund in order to sign up at a gym might well be money more wisely spent…

I decided that yesterday was not gonna be a day for rash spending, however. And so instead of blowing money that I don't really have at a fitness facility - I busted my flabby ass by taking a heap of self-portraits in the bush, without spending even one precious dime.

By the time I finally got home, fed (only allowed myself to have a tin of sausages mashed up with mayonnaise), and bathed - I was plum tuckered out. (Those tree swinging pics. kicked my butt! And ripped gaping, weeping holes into the palms of my hands. Yuck.) I was too tired to even do much with the day's pics. - which was actually fine, because I was just so happy to be exhausted from honest to goodness physical exertion for the first time in recent memory.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

The Empress' New Clothes

(All pics. snapped on 2/19/16, using a Sony Cybershot, and edited with Instagram filters)

My tan lines got so intense this week, once I went out believing that I was wearing a white bikini...

…it didn't take me long though, to realize I wasn't.


Thursday, February 11, 2016

Caught...Between a Rock and a Hard Place

(All pics. snapped on 2/10/16, using a Sony Cybershot, and edited with Instagram filters)

Not a bad place to spend the afternoon shooting, eh? (Well, except for the fact that I did shred certain parts of my body while scurrying in and out of, and up onto and down from - all of those rough and jagged rocks). All of the fun ended abruptly however, when after having taken about 1 1/2 hours worth of pics., I looked up to see someone standing on the high rock above me - watching me with a confused look on his face…he asked, "What are you doing?" "Taking pictures", I replied. The expression on his face did not change…at all. He was still clearly very perplexed...

Not sure just how long the dude had been witnessing my antics, but the instant that I noticed him - I threw on my coverup, gathered my gear, and hurriedly skedaddled on outta there. Lord does that sort of thing freak me out...

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Please Do Not Disturb

(All pics. snapped on 1/26/16, using a Sony Cybershot, and edited with Instagram filters)

I discovered this abandoned villa a couple of weeks ago, and the very instant that I laid eyes on it - I knew that I'd found the venue in which I would stage my next set of selfpics. 

I went back over there today, with the intention of leisurely snapping photo after photo, until all of my camera batteries were spent - having arrived at the location mistakenly believing that I couldn't possibly be interrupted by a single living soul. I mean, it's not exactly like it's hidden away or anything, but it's more that there's so much other, better stuff nearby - that I just couldn't picture anyone suddenly paying any attention to the dissolving structure, making it that much easier for me to get comfortable with the afternoon's plan of indulging my artistic impulses by shooting a heap of nude self-portraits.

That was not to be the case though, unfortunately…while in about the 7th second of the 4th picture that I snapped on top of the ledge seen above (I was actually standing up and looking through the hole in the roof), I saw a man walking down a path that went along one side of the villa…and I was pretty flippin' sure that he saw me too. I jumped down in a quick, and put on my jeans and t-shirt, and waited for him to come up inside the building. Luckily, he never did. 

Once my jitters had died down, I snapped a couple more pics. in the groovy 70's(?) era bathroom, but then decided it might be best if I moved to another area to shoot.

The light pouring into this hallway was superb, so I wasn't all that upset about having to change my focus from shooting in the bathroom - to the villa's entrance…that was until (just after the shutter clicked on this ^, the very first frame) I was dive-bombed by a swarm of jack spaniards, and subsequently stung on my ear lobe, my jaw, and my elbow. 

I was like, "Oh, hell no - fuck that shit!" Those suckers are hateful - and I was NAKED!!! So, after only 16 minutes of shooting, and a paltry 15 frames (two of which were test shots taken in my street clothes) - I was outta there.

The End

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Revenge of the Jumbees

 (Both pics. snapped on 1/07/16, using a Sony Cybershot and Instagram filters)

I went into this shoot (inside of the shipwreck, Pamead) with the (what I considered to be realistic) expectation of snapping at least 100 - 125 images…unfortunately however - that was not to be the case.

After firing off only a coupla frames, my trusty little Cybershot began to freak out - strange settings screens kept popping up on their own, and then they'd switch suddenly to other screens that I'd never even seen before. I kept turning the camera off and on again, in the hopes that I might be able to set the timer for the next shot - and that did work for a short little while…but once I'd captured the 18th frame, the camera went completely haywire, and so I had no choice but to call it quits.

If I had to come up with an explanation for why the funny glitch with my camera, I would havta say that I think there may have been spirits inside of that shipwreck that didn't want me in there…I know many of y'all out there are probably shaking your heads, and sucking your teeth - because to you such a thing may sound utterly absurd…but that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

This wasn't the first time that something like this has happened to me while I was staging self-portraits in a (possibly haunted?) abandoned place however…to read about the venue that sticks out in my mind the most, please click here

I'm definitely not giving up on someday padding my portfolio with more self-shots made inside of this exquisite disaster piece…I am determined to try and fulfill my goal of capturing at least 82 more self-portraits inside of the Pamead…jumbees, or not.

Thursday, December 31, 2015


Found a seabird skeleton in this cave…thought that was pretty neat. I would've carried it back home with me, but it fell apart after shooting with it as a prop for only like 6 frames…blap.

(All pics. snapped on 12/31/15 - using a Sony Cybershot)

My laptop has been acting seriously dumb lately, and one of the things that makes it spaz - is whenever I try to edit my pics. on iPhoto…and because of that, this entire group of photos is unedited, so there ya' go.

Even though I've been to this bay a thousand times before, it wasn't until last week when my kids were here with me for Christmastime, that I went inside of the cave that's tucked into the cliff on the north side - for the first time...and I was positively awestruck by its beauty and delicious natural light! I was however utterly disgusted with myself, because like the dumbass that I can be sometimes, I'd forgotten to bring my GoPro with me. I vowed to come back to try and capture its beauty another day…and the more I thought about it, the more I became fixated with the idea of staging a self-portrait shoot there.

So. After much hesitation and procrastination, I finally mustered up enough determination to make today the day that this shoot would happen. I packed my shitty little camera inside of six sealed ziploc bags, rode my motorbike over to the lookout, wended my way down the track that leads to the sea, jumped in, and then swam across Little Bay - carrying the makeshift waterproof camera-bag as much over my head as I could keep it for such a long distance. I carefully climbed out of the water - trying to avoid stepping on a dreaded sea shooter (or multiple), scuttled up into the cave, set up my camera on its companion Gorillapod, and let myself get completely lost in my work, and this remarkable venue.

Was truly a magical way to end the year…

Happy Old Year's Night to YOU - my wonderful readers! I love you all madly, and wish you all the best in 2016!!!