Feels GOOD to be a Man...

(Snapped on 10/02/10)

Yesterday, my tiny little town celebrated its centennial by closing off Main Street to car traffic, in order to make way for a parade and a couple blocks-long party. I had every intention of stopping by the festivities - not so much to join in on all the fun - but because I liked the idea of snapping self-portraits under what I suspected would be the disapproving/bewildered eyes of the assemblage of small-town onlookers. 

The night before, I had joked with friends on Facebook, about taking naked shots at the parade - but I mean c'mon...did I really wanna get hauled off to jail? No. So I hatched a more reasonable, albeit less spectacular plan (see above) one which I believed would earn at least a few nasty sneers from a predictably disparaging peanut gallery.

The only caveat to everything going as I'd envisioned, was that I had also committed to watching my daughter's field hockey game (at her school an hour and a half away) and bringing her back to my ex for the weekend. By my estimation, I should be able to fit in both activities, although I'd likely have to miss the big parade. But certainly there'd be plenty - still under way, when finally I descended on Boyce at (my e.t.a. of) 3 o'clock...right?

WRONG...For one thing - I didn't pull up to my house until 4:45 that afternoon...soooo much later than I'd hoped. I speculated that surely by then I had to have missed the bulk of the celebratory goings-on - but I figured, "Hey. I'll never know unless I go and see" So...

I haphazardly gathered the essentials for my ensemble and proceeded to (attempt to) transform myself into a dude.

Yep, my hunch was dead-on. By the time I got to Boyce, most everyone had left and things had essentially come to a close...drats. Fortunately though, the concession stands were open - so I lucked into documenting myself demolishing a corn dog. Talk about devotion to one's craft, sheesh!...Under no other circumstances would I have eaten that crap (it was tasty though...I have to admit)

(Snapped on 10/02/10)

I snapped one corn dog's worth of pics., and then strolled to Town Hall, where I introduced myself to a father and his kids, who were chillin' out front on the steps. I explained to them that I take pictures of myself in various settings and scenarios and that today I was tryin' to look like a man. They were visibly confused (see how that one boy was beepin' at me?) and yet - completely cool with me doin' my thing. 

After taking one photo (with only me as the subject) I invited the two boys to join me if they wanted...and they did. Their big sister made a guest appearance a little later on. It was a hoot, they were great and I thought it so clever when the boy in the middle suggested we line up with our shirts in order - red, white and blue. Now that I think of it, this may have been my first set of pics. ever taken with folks other than me in 'em...so there's that.

(Snapped on 10/02/10)

As the last few stragglers departed the big shindig, I took the liberty of snapping some more pics. in their midst. And yes...I got the hairy eyeball from most, and derogatory comments from many...Could someone please tell me why I get off on that shit?...

(Snapped on 10/02/10)

Mission (mostly) accomplished, I went home to partake in an even smaller celebration - for having done my very best to be a MAN. I grabbed a jumbo Miller Lite (and just who left that in my fridge?) and after only 3 swigs, I moved on to my girly vodka drinks...*urp*

A Heathen in the Chapel

(Snapped on 7/17/10)

After finally tackling those pesky train pics., the notion that the world was far bigger than just my yard and my house really began to crystallize. I was relieved to have finally gotten over the intimidating hurdle of snapping self-portraits in public, and because of that - I began conspiring to shoot myself against all sorts of interesting backdrops...and quite frankly, I didn't care who might see me doin' it. The tricky part was, that I was still staging my self-portraits with Twitter's #HNT in mind, and the "half-nekkid" part of #HNT would no doubt prove to be a bit more difficult to pull off in front of an audience.

The Sunday just after the train shoot, my oldest daughter was at a friend's house (having slept there the night before) my son was at camp and my ex had stopped by my house early in the morning - to pick up my two other girls in order to drive them to their camp. It was 6:30 a.m....and I was childless. Seemed like the perfect opportunity to get out there and do a photo shoot. Additionally, we were in the midst of one of the hottest spells of the summer, so the idea of shooting pics. before the temperature and the humidity rose to suffocating highs, was appealing - to say the least. I did my face and hair, threw on an old nighty (omitted undies in #HNT's honor) and drove to the Old Chapel Cemetery - just 5 minutes away from my house. 

As I parked my car it occurred to me, "Oh shit. What if it's locked?" but when I got to the entrance I was delighted to discover that not only was the gate unlocked, but best I could tell - it wasn't able to be locked. Visions of a nighttime cemetery shoot went swirling through my mind...but that would have to keep, cuz for the time being I'd have to be content with integrating myself amid the mammoth mature trees and the patina of the ancient headstones in one of my favorite places in Clarke County...during the daytime.

(Snapped on 7/17/10)

I took a few pics. lying on my back draped over this old stump, and then I got the idea to stand on it and pose. Next I took a few pics. while leaning into this sort of slow-motion step/fall, and then I got the idea to try jumping off the stump. I spent what felt like an eternity, struggling to get a satisfactory photo of myself in midair. It quickly became quite clear that capturing my body in motion would be a far less simple task than I'd reckoned. Despite becoming more and more pissed off at my ineptness, I did not see this obstacle as insurmountable. Matter of fact, I was excited to have added something new to the equation and I refused to quit trying until I had a couple of pics. that I didn't absolutely hate. 

The Old Chapel shoot marked my first real attempt at photographing movement and I definitely considered it a pretty big deal. My mind reeled with the promise of a plethora of possibilities...

(Snapped on 7/17/10)

After about an hour and a half of flitting about between graves and leaping off of the lichen-covered stump, and with the temperature now well into the 80's, it shouldn't be difficult to imagine how profusely I was sweating. The little white nighty was soaked through in the front...like seriously - totally saturated. I posted the photo above, not because it's so fantastic or anything (in fact I don't even particularly like it) but it was the best example I had to illustrate just how wet (and translucent) the nightgown had become.

At this point I felt like I'd kinda maxed-out the whole cemetery thing, and since I had a few other shoots on my list for the day - I packed up my things and went toward the gate to leave. As I exited the cemetery, a truck pulled up and blocked the path to my car. I was thinking, well - a couple of things actually...1.) Dagger! Maybe I wasn't actually allowed to be in the cemetery taking pics. of myself...barely clothed. Had a motorist who'd seen me galavanting around the grounds, called someone and snitched?...and...2.) My tiny little nighty (which barely covered my naked ass in the first place) now in such a soggy state - blatantly advertised the fact that I didn't happen to be wearing a bra...*awkward*

The little old man who stepped out of the truck, bore a genuinely pleasant smile and was just as sweet to me as he could be. I had braced myself for severe reprimand, but he immediately diffused my anxiety...I was shocked. He didn't seem at all perturbed that I'd been photographing myself in the cemetery nor embarrassed by my tits which were screaming at him from behind the diaphanous layer of moist cotton. 

The old man introduced himself as the groundskeeper and said that he was there to unlock the chapel. He asked if I was the photographer who'd called and made arrangements to be let inside the building to take pictures, that day...I said, "Oh no! I'm not a photographer, I just do this for fun. I know...I'm weird"

And then he said, "Well, if you like - you're welcome to take pictures in the chapel." I answered with, "Um, I'm probably not appropriately dressed to take you up on that today, but you're very nice to offer!"

(Snapped on 7/17/10)

I was kinda bummed to have to decline the old man's generous invitation to let me snap pics. inside the Old Chapel...and just then, I remembered seeing a dress lying in a heap in the back of my car (probably filthy and on its way to the dry cleaners, but oh well) I ducked behind my little car, stripped naked and got myself zipped up in the other dress.  

Me: "On second thought, maybe I will take some pictures in the Chapel...that is, if it's still all right and all."

The little old man: "Oh my yes. Help yourself."

I just could not believe how lucky I'd gotten...the entire morning had been an absolute gift! Later I learned that I was even luckier than I'd realized. After a few local peeps saw some of the photos that I shot while inside the Old Chapel, they were stunned..."How in the world did you manage to get in there? It's only open to the public once a year?!"

Could it be the photography gods were smiling on me? Maybe. But I'm more inclined to think that one should never underestimate the power of a see-through nighty...

Wanna Know How I Feel Today?

THIS is how I feel today...pretty much the epitome of sanguine...

(Snapped on 9/28/10)

Wanna know why I feel so danged dandy today (and by the looks of the above photo - as though I've just stepped onto the set of some sort of feminine hygiene advertisement)? Well, I'll tell ya'...It's cuz the Big Ugly is officially open for business. That's right - I have a real web addy now, I got my business license this morning, I have a dedicated phone line and just got done recording my Big Ugly "away" message. I am this close to ordering merchandise and creating an online STORE, and I am currently in the process of setting up my PayPal account. Ain't that so damned cool?! 

I know it may sound strange to those of you who actually know me, but this flurry of positive, promising activity has me feeling (almost) quasi grown-up. Of course, that's entirely subject to change - but for now - that's my story...and I'm stickin' to it...

Ok, enough of all the jocular merrymaking, I gotta get back to work...work! Did you hear that? I said, "I gotta get back to work"...like I actually have a job now or something, haha - love that!

Oh, and one more thing before I head back to work (hee hee, work!) - I really need to thank you guys. Were it not for your continued encouragement and support, this would still be just some pointless hobby. Worse yet - I woulda hung it up already, in order to follow god knows whatever other flight of fancy...and for that, I am truly grateful - THANK you!

Yesterday was Monday...AND Rainy...

(Snapped on 9/27/10)

Soooo...I overshot my alarm yesterday morning. I'd gone to bed, bleary-eyed - well after 1 a.m., and then reflexively cold-cocked the alarm clock when it had the audacity to so rudely interrupt the tail-end of my mere 4th hour of sleep, after which I fell back into a deep, deeeeep slumber... 

When I reluctantly roused myself from the amorous embrace of The Stig (in a most vivid dream that I hated to see end...*sigh*) and then realized that I'd overslept by an hour and a half - I leapt outta bed and shot through the house in a panic to go and wake my kids...my 12 year old daughter was distraught...

And so began my Monday...my dream with The Stig cut short, before getting to the part where surely I woulda removed his jumpsuit and helmet (what can I say, I'm sorta sweet on The Stig), an hour and a half deficit in the time I require to get through my morning routine, and with one weepy child scrambling to finish the homework that she should've done over the weekend *ehem*...but the fact that she'd never be able to complete it in time, was now entirely my fault...imagine that...

It also happened to be raining, blah. The sensible me appreciated the rain as the welcome remedy to a brutally long, crunchy drought  - BUT. I am a vitamin D kinda gal. I LOVE the sun. And I can't help but find waaay more inspiration (not to mention motivation) for my self-portrait shoots (life in general, for that matter) - when it's hot, dry and sunny outside.

But since I hadn't had the chance to take any self-portraits in just one day shy of a week! I simply had to get my booty out there...the rain was no excuse to put it off...

I came up with a few different possibilities beginning with Plan A. - an indoor shoot (yes, I am a weanie) at a diner in a neighboring town. I figured I'd take some pics. there, while riding out the steady downpour - in the hopes that it might let up just a leetle, so that I could then execute Plan B. - a real shoot at the historic gardens across the street. 

I am delighted to report that goodwill among men does actually happen to exist...not kidding! I mean, I do live in an ultra-conservative region after all, and so I never really know what to expect when I ask a business or property owner if they'd mind very much - if I invade their space and barge in on their lives - for the sake of my quirky self-indulgence. But the folks at the diner could not have been nicer...in fact they were incredibly cool and open-minded! 

While they passed around my portfolios and perused the pics., I tried something I hadn't done before. I shot a whole series of photos, fully clad in regular attire and doing nothing particularly interesting at all. I have to say, it was a nice break from tradition to be (relatively) normal for once.  

I'd arrived just behind the lunch crowd, and left before the dinner rush, thus my timing proved to be pretty perfect. I had the restaurant practically to myself, and so didn't really have to worry about bothering customers or disrupting the wait staff while they worked. 

After finishing my third cup of coffee and the yummiest sausage I've ever eaten in my life, I learned from the restaurant owner that unfortunately, the gardens across the street are closed every Monday...which left me no choice but to move on to Plan C....

(Snapped on 9/27/10)

Plan C was very simple really - it consisted of stopping by my house, changing clothes and then driving to an old building nearby. I drove through a veritable deluge to get there, but by the time I arrived, the rain had tapered off. I still managed to get drenched, but it was warm and I had fun AND I didn't get in trouble with the property owner, who showed up and caught me redhanded...whoopsie...

I know, I know...this entry may be a bit disappointing for you guys, since neither of these pictures nor the stories behind them are gonna make anyone jump up and shout, "WOW!". But I guess for me there's value in the fact that rather than let a miserable Monday keep me from taking my pics., the shoots and the pics. and the people I met actually made me enjoy a cruddy day... 

Once Upon a Time, I Left the Farm...

(Snapped on 7/11/10)

Looking back on it now, it's kinda hard for me to believe that I spent 4 whole months snapping half-nekkid pictures of myself, before I ran out of ideas or got bored enough or whatever, to venture away from my home and my yard to take pics..

I've definitely got a thing about trains, and since there are railroad tracks bordering the back end of my property, trains are an inescapable presence in my life. So it's no real surprise that my first big idea for a nearby "on location" shoot - should somehow incorporate the trains behind my house...preferably one covered in graffiti...but an unembellished train would certainly do.

Next, I had to figure out how I was to be dressed and ready, and within close enough proximity to the tracks (which are several acres behind my house and studio) to then be able to jump out and quickly photograph myself, in the fleeting moment before the train sped away...hmmm...now just how in the hell was I supposed to do all that?! My biggest issue was timing, since the trains don't run on any semblance of a predictable schedule. Many hours can elapse between the different trains passing, but it can be as few as 30 minutes...or less...

The strategy that came to mind, was to get myself dressed, tote my camera and junk to that side of my property, hang out until I could hear a train approaching, hop the fence, race to the crossing and fire off as many pics. as I could in the minute or so, before it was gone...seemed (sorta) feasible.

...and so...that's just what I did...well, almost.

One problem was - I tend to get antsy when I'm idle, and so as soon as it registered that I could be waiting indefinitely...I kinda freaked out about sitting there doing absolutely nothing for an indeterminate period of time. But I came up with a solution. I got naked, picked some flowers, stuck 'em in my hair, and shot a whole series of wood nymph-ish photos in the interim. I was entertained and productive while I waited for the train.

After a little less than an hour though, I had exhausted the wood nymph concept completely. Largely because I hadn't wanted to migrate away from the narrow path where I'd been shooting, so that I might stay close to the section of collapsed fencing that I'd planned to climb over to get out on the road. But I couldn't move any closer to that spot, otherwise I would've been visible (in all my naked glory) to the cars and the curious number of cyclists going past that day.

Discouraged, I gave up - and went back to my studio to download the pics. that I had taken, and wouldn't you know it...not 10 minutes after I sat down at my desk, I could hear the train rumbling up the tracks.

I took the flowers outta my hair, quickly collected my stuff, and high-tailed it back across my yard. I spastically clambered over that crushed spot in the fence (getting hung up in the barbed-wire just a little) placed the camera on the table, set the timer on the camera, and then dashed over to figure out my pose.

(Snapped on 7/11/10)

This was the sole image that I managed to capture, before the train disappeared out of sight...poop...But you know? As crappy as it is (and as dumpy as I look, ugh) it still signifies something of a landmark occasion - I left the farm to take pictures out in public.

Besides the the fact that I (for some reason) was heading back to my camera while the timer still ticked, and that I neglected to kick off my flip flops, before I had gotten into frame - once the adrenaline wore off - I also realized that I'd ripped a good chunk of meat outta my shin, presumably when I got hung up in the fence...yuck.

(Snapped on 7/14/10)

I was so frustrated by my apparent inability to take a decent portrait with the train, that I pretty much gave up on it ever happening at all. 

A few days after that first, failed attempt, while doodling on my Mac and scheming where to shoot next - yet another train roared by adding more salt to the wound. I hated that something that I'd always enjoyed, might forever remind me of my disheartening shortcoming... and just then something incredibly fortuitous took place...

(Snapped on 7/14/10)

Being that this entry is heavily-laden as it is, I won't bore you with the details of how I finally got 'em, the important thing is - that I did get my train pics....better even, than I'd imagined they'd be. And so rather than having become synonymous with defeat, the sound of the trains reminds me that anything is possible...it just sometimes takes timing...or luck…

Chasing Windmills

(Snapped on 9/20/10)

Ok, just a quick little post and then I'm on Big Ugly probation until I fulfill my obligations as a guest contributor to a friend's blog...more on that later. And yes - I will def tweet the link to my article as soon as it's up. Don't forget to follow @biguglyblog, if you don't already...THANKS! 

So hey look, yooz guys - I got my windmill pics....finally! 

Several times a week, I drive past this humble but tidy working farm with its noble windmill - forever standing sentinel...and for whatever reason, it seems like I'm always going past during that fleeting moment late in the day, when the sun bathes the gentle giant in a warm, amber glow. So it kinda goes without saying that I've been bandying about the idea of working in concert with such a delicious vignette, for quite some time now. 

The first order of business in seeing my brainchild come to fruition, was to get permission from the property owners, to enter their cow fields and photograph myself at the feet of their windmill (or even on it, if they'd be so kind as to let me) Soooo...one evening, a week or so ago - I figured, "No time like the present" I got dressed and made-up and drove over to the farm, hopeful that the owners would allow me to take pics., that very night.  

The nice woman who came outside to greet me, said the folks who owned the farm were not home at the moment, but she wrote down my number and assured me that she'd have them call and let me know...one way or the other. I was surprised to hear from 'em just a couple of hours later, and elated when they gave me the thumbs-up!

This past Monday marked the first break in my schedule (and with perfect weather, no less) in which to finally make time for the windmill pics.. Upon arriving at the farm, I went up to the house to check in with the people (before helping myself to their property) and again I was met by the "nice woman". She told me that the homeowners were away, but they'd explained to her that I did have permission to shoot there. I asked if she thought it would be ok for me to climb on the structure and she pointed out that it's equipped with a ladder-like thingy (joy!) and far as she knew it should be fine..."But be careful, because it is old...and I don't know how stable it is." 

(Snapped on 9/20/10)

This was as high as I ever managed to climb, and since my 10 seconds were up before I could strike any sort of pseudo-elegant pose, I quickly pretended I was terrified instead...

Immediately after this picture was snapped, my good friend El Sol said, "That's it...time's up" and he dimmed the lights as he slipped away to retire until morning...

To be honest, his timing could not have been better. My poor abused feet were now begging for a break. They were throbbing from racing - full sprint across the ground, hitting hard on hidden landmines of half-buried limestone, and from frantically shinnying up the old, rusty ladder...like 40 flippin' times in a row...But you know something? I wouldn't even dare to complain. That's a small price to pay for the auspicious opportunity - to chase down that coveted windmill…

On "The Land" and Off the Grid

(Snapped on 9/17/10)

I'm just back from having spent the most refreshing and relaxing (albeit productive!) weekend on and around "The Land". "The Land" (as it has been tagged by my dear friend Copeland and her family) is a remote and scenic parcel of property in rural, central Virginia - on top of which sits the family's off-the-grid, pre-fab, modern design weekend home - now in its final stages of construction. This place is incredible you guys; the house, the land itself and the surrounding environs...I was absolutely blown away by the whole thing of it...as well as endlessly inspired by the seemingly infinite number of photo ops.. Trust me, I will return to "The Land"...often...

We arrived at "The Land" late last Friday evening, and after visiting with Copeland and her kids, and then bidding the children, "Goodnight", I couldn't resist taking my naked ass outside to snap pics. under the gorgeous moonlit sky, before I myself - turned in for the night...I even caught a glimpse of a shooting star...quel bonne chance!

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

Yep, this was def not a bad place to find myself in the morning...Oh - and in case you're wondering - that's authentic bed-head, yo...(got that shit honest...slept like a damn rock) but on top of that - there was very little I could do to fix it. You see at the moment, the only shower is an outdoor solar shower (brrr...) and the solar-powered electrical system has yet to be fully installed sooo...since I did not have the option of showering and re-styling (blow-drying, straightening) my hair for each different shoot, I had to be sorta creative in making due with what I had. Needless to say, I was glad that I'd had the accidental wherewithal to pack an assortment of hats, headbands and scarves...

While taking the pics. from the series above, it was funny to overhear one of Copeland's children through an open window exclaim, "Mama, she's wearing her bathing suit!" (Probably a good thing the child didn't realize that I was parading around in vintage lingerie...eh - what they don't know won't hurt 'em, right?) Understandably the tike musta thought I was nuts to endure the morning chill for the sake of taking half-naked pics. of myself...

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

After changin' up my garb and attempting to hog-tie my messy mop with a scarf, the children and I made our way out to the galvanized shed, inside of which I discovered Copeland's signature scythe (you'd have to know her to understand why it is deemed as such). 

Although I'm probably not even holding the derned thing properly, and have no real knowledge of how to effectively implement such a tool...it did prove to be a handy little prop.

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

In exploring the property for my next series of pics., I happened upon this old tobacco barn. I'll admit that its "Leaning Tower of Pisa" slant, warned that it might be best to stick with shooting myself strictly on the exterior of the seriously compromised structure, which I did do...at first...But when it comes to my self-portraits, I can be a bit foolhardy at times...especially if it means getting a somewhat grittier shot. 

Later in the day, when Copeland clicked through my camera to view my new collection of pics., with a raised eyebrow she commented, "I couldn't figure out why you'd taken so many pictures of the tobacco barn, and then I realized that you were in them! These make me very nervous Lauralyn, tsk, tsk.........Soooo...what was it like in there, anyway?"

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

Just a few feet away from the old tobacco barn, is a tiny foot bridge...and this creek. I was so lovin' that for 3 out of the 5 shoots, up to this point - I hadn't needed to worry with any sort of costume at all. I had started out wearing tall rubber boots for the photos that I took in the creek, but I nixed 'em completely, after only a couple of frames.

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

As the day warmed up (and before Copeland's Handsome Husband showed up to join the rest of us) I decided to try out the solar shower, not so much to get clean (I never even bothered with soap or shampoo, and quite honestly - I hardly got wet!) but instead because I thought it might make for a nice group of pics....

Turns out - a bag of ice that I'd brought along in my cooler had melted and leaked all over the back of my car, and the real pisser was that most of the clothing in my duffel was either damp or completely soaked by the time I realized it. The necessity of hanging my clothes out to dry, was a bit of an unexpected nuisance - but in setting up the shot for these pics., I immediately saw it as a classic case of blind luck. 

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

I definitely prefer my method of utilizing the old wringer/washer, over its intended purpose and ultimate use...call me lazy but... 

Btw, have I mentioned yet - how impressed I am by Copeland's determination to get "back to the basics"? Her commitment goes way above and beyond what most of us would consider "doing one's part" to save the planet. She literally looked at me like I had ten heads, when I naively asked if she was actually gonna use the old washer to launder the family's dirty clothes...she's a far better citizen than I, fo' shiz...

(Snapped on 9/18/10)

Once the rain collection system is set up, this livestock trough will serve as the family's bathtub...in the short term though, I couldn't help but see it as a fun backdrop (backdrop...get it?) for a late night photo shoot. While the rest of the household was deep in slumber, I borrowed the Coleman lantern cum nightlight - to illuminate this gaucho-inspired lot...

(Snapped on 9/19/10)

Ever since driving through this ghostly little town, Friday evening on our way out to "The Land" - I had been salivating at the thought of snapping pics. here. I knew that the light would be best in the early part of the day, and so Sunday morning, I packed up my stuff, gave hugs and thanks to Copeland and her delightful fam...and said goodbye to "The Land" til next time. 

After arriving on the scene, I got dressed in my car and then rapaciously snapped pictures (until my memory card was full) to an audience of one, a man...He is one of only a couple or so residents who still dwell along this otherwise abandoned Main Street...and he was an absolute gem.

(Snapped on 9/19/10)

As I drove towards home (more than 3 hours away) I spent the first leg of the trip reviewing the pics. on my cam (while simultaneously trying not to wreck my car) and deleted as many of the duds as I could, to create space for more pics., should something photo-worthy catch my eye. 

I've been dying to do self-portraits by a pay phone, and I figured surely I'd find one somewhere along the back-country, two-lane road that I was traveling. But it wasn't until I got into the bigger small town of Warrenton, Va., that I came across not one, but two separate pay phones. Su-weet!

And so a BIG hearty "THANKS!" to my four gracious hosts (*muah*) and also to that surprise shooting star - which apparently did bring me luck...