CHEAP CAMERA/10 SECOND TIMER SELF-PORTRAITURE

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A Night in the Hotel: A Rock Opera, Well...KINda

A few weeks ago I suffered a near miss (which in retrospect - was probs a good thing). I'd been invited to go visit this adorable little hottie at the hotel where he was staying, but at the eleventh hour he bagged out on me. Needless to say, my intentions going in - were quite different than his. All I could think about was the chance to take self-portraits in a hotel room (preferably without using him as a prop)...and - not too surprisingly - ever since his and my deal fell through, I've been utterly fixated on finding a way to finagle a hotel room shoot.

This past Friday night I went "out" for the first time in eons - my way of rewarding myself for gettin' my blog updated like a good little girl. I arrived at the bar where I met three friends, at approximately 10:30 p.m....and I quickly deduced there was little chance that I'd ever catch up to their level of inebriation, since as it turned out -they'd been imbibing since 2 in the afternoon, but! At the end of the night, I was no doubt - over the legal limit, and so woulda been a fool to not accept their invitation to crash with them at a swank, downtown hotel - the sensible alternative to any of us risking driving back home and getting pulled over for driving while drunk.  

By now I know that a photo op can arise at any given moment, and because of that - I rarely ever leave the house without bringing along my camera and the little dish packed with tin foil that I set it in. Friday night was no exception. Woulda been nice if I'd had the forethought to wear a saucy matching bra and undies set. But I was just wearing a boring black bra, and as usual - I was goin' commando...

Thinking on my feet, I stripped down to nuttin', grabbed a towel from the bathroom and (figuring I'd be more productive working alone, as opposed to in a cramped room with three boys) I went out into the hallway to take selfpics all by myself.

I have no clue how long I was messin' around out there, but it was long enough that I shoulda gotten into some sort of trouble. I mean, aren't there surveillance cameras in the hallways of hotels? Someone had to have seen what I was doing. I'm still mind-boggled that I got away with this nonsense...not complaining - just stoked that I did!

And now...without further ado...A Night in the Hotel

(Cue music)






(All pics. snapped on 11/13/10)

After being chased by an invisible aggressor, and running helter skelter through the seemingly endless labyrinth of hallways...


I frantically beat on a stranger's door, seeking refuge from my imaginary assailant...


But when no one came to my rescue, and the phantom stalker gave up chase (and the towel mysteriously vanished) I lightened the mood by staging an impromptu peep show for the night watchman, presumably privy to my antics via hidden camera...


After all that I was pooped and hungry...


I foraged for a midnight snack... 


curled up on the scratchy hotel carpet...and promptly fell faaaast asleep...

THE END


Unfortunately, I cannot share with you any of the photos that I did end up taking inside of our room (such a shame since there are a couple of real cherries in the bunch) but I'm in enough hot water as it is - thanks entirely to some big mouth who recently felt the need to stir up shit about my blog with my ex-husband. 

I hate to feel like I have to curb anything that I do just because an uptight jackass (who didn't have the balls to express his concerns about my blog directly to me - when coincidentally, we were face to face mere days before he tattled) would rather me censor my work, than take matters into his own hands by installing adult content filters on his home computer...He mentioned to my ex that his child came home one day, talking about my blog (I actually have good reason to believe that this statement is in fact, false) after which he further riled my ex by speculating - if word about my online indiscretions leaked out at their school - (mine and) my ex's children could be forced to field uncomfortable ridicule from their peers...

I call bullshit. 

That guy found my blog completely on his own, after which he felt the need to exact revenge on me for some reason (could be he felt guilty about the emotions it aroused? Hard to say) but whatever the reason - it still sucks and was a common-ass thing to do, in my opinion.

I asked my kids if they've ever had to deal with kids at school, coming down on them for this thing that I do which is totally out of their control...and they said "No". I then recommended that if anyone ever does give them grief about my pics. and/or my blog - to please be sure to tell me, and to explain to whomever - that their mother is an artist, and that what she does on her time, should never reflect poorly on them...

Thing is, I truly believe that my pics. only make local peeps uncomfortable. (I've never gotten an ounce of grief about my blog, from anyone who doesn't know me personally) I guess it could be kinda weird to have the mental image of my pics. running through their minds when they see me at soccer games and stuff. But it doesn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother them. However, if they insist on making strange with me in public and so vehemently disapproving of my behavior - then may I suggest - that they refrain from visiting the damn site! I swear to god, people - grow the freak up! Hate to break it to ya' but art is oftentimes naked - and has been since the beginning of time (essentially). I wonder...would they keep their children from visiting museums, for fear their poor, fragile eyeballs might burn outta their precious little skulls - should they chance upon an artist's rendering of the naked female form? Let's hope not. 

Don't worry though, I tend to err on the side of incorrigible...and so I do not plan to stay on lock-down for long...

Bring on the witch hunt, the book-burning, the censure...it's all just fuel for my fire...

15 comments:

  1. http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-959746544/journey_dont_stop_believin_official_music_video/

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  2. I must say, having discovered your blog from a different site, that your photos are lovely. From all aspects - the model, the photography skills, the story that they create, etc.

    I look forward to more.

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  3. Care to share any of the deets of what went on in the hotel room? :)

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  4. @Anonymous - Well, thank you for SAYin' so! I'm delighted that you a.) found my blog and b.) found something about it that you enjoy!

    @Mr Fancy Pants - HaHA! Wouldn't YOU like to know?! I dunno...maybe someday I'll muster the courage to post summah the photos from inSIDE the hotel room...MAYbe...

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  5. Artist? Hahahahaha, get over yourself. And yeah, this will come to hurt your kids, it is only a matter of time. Of course, you are too selfish and deluded to recognize the truth of that.

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  6. @Anonymous - Wooo! Sounds to me like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, this morning...Thanks for the input, though. It went IN one ear and RIGHT out the other...

    P.S. Do you and I actually KNOW each other? Why do I have the distinct feeling that we might...

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  7. I, like a couple of other people discovered blog from another site.

    In the interest of giving credit where credit is do... Well done!

    Oh, and I do find you to be an incredibly beautiful woman also:)

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  8. THANK you, Tank! I'm happy that you found my blog and that liked what you saw when you got here! I hope you'll check back again...

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  9. Y'know I have not a foggy clue how I found you except something about Twitter, lmao. I gotta admit you are entertaining, and as for the trouble with false friends and ex's... that is what makes you a head above most, you posted this and still kept going. Most people would crawl back in themselves and let other persons dictate how they can do what they wish. Kudus to you.

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  10. Well, thank you very MUCH! I guess the bottom line is (for me) I'm really just not afraid of ANYone. I don't let the negative spin affect me, because I stand behind every single thing that I do. And the cool thing about putting so much of myself out there for the world (or the tiny town that you live in) to see and read - is that the cream really DOES rise to the top. I know who my true friends are. There aren't many of them, but ALL of them either encourage me to keep doing what I'm doing, or if they don't happen to dig it - they simply ignore it and like me the same way that they did before I started doing all of this nonsense...No human should ever let any other person make them feel badly about doing something that they truly love to do. I really beLIEVE that.

    So glad that you came here (no matter HOW it was that you found my blog!) - your comment made me very happy tonight!

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  11. Just came across an interview with you. Decided to check out your blog. I am ver very glad I did. You have a great look on composition lighting posing and so on. I shot some self portraits but you raised the bar to a treu artform. Thankyou so much fore the inspiration. And don't let negativity get you down not everyone likes art.

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  12. I'm so happy that you found your WAY here! THANK you!

    Yeah, def don't give up on taking self-portraits...they're so completely rewarding in a whole host of ways! But you better be sure to SHARE a few with me!

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  13. Ok, I'm a 46 year old happily married man father of 3 and have never had the pleasure to meet you, I say this to keep from getting mixed up with the previous anonymous that posted here. I love not only the pictures (I'm not a pervert)but the writing that allows me to understand what you were thinking or trying to do when you were taking/creating the pictures. To me this is what separates art from outright porn (nothing wrong with a little porn now and then), I like what you are doing and I know that my opinion is probably as worthless as nipples on a bull, however I call it art.... Keep up the good work!!! BTW I think your kids are going to be fine and productive individuals because their mom seems to keep it real...

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  14. I hope that you have had your pics in a gallery, or that you plan to, so creative and beautiful, a real man would have appreciated the art of your pics, and not looked upon them as porn. For they are nothing of the sort. Art of the most creative and natural, the human female body, did I forget Beautiful. My admiration and appreciation for the art and the beauty of your self. NATIVE AMERICAN

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