If You Go Into The Woods Today...

A couple of nights ago, my two good friends showed me the secret spot where these pictures were taken. After walking up the lane from my one friend's house, ducking into a wooded, private property, and then following an overgrown trail that eventually led us to the rusty well pump and wash tub - the guys left me alone to take my selfpics in peace. The two of them however, continued on along the old path, to see what else they might find - and when they returned, they told me that they had some good news.

Turned out that at top of the hill where the path finally ended - there was a weathered, but solid cabin - and it was unlocked! It was too late in the evening to stage pics. there that night, as the sun was getting low, its light shining ever more dimly through the trees...but I reminded myself that there was always tomorrow...

(First nine pics. snapped on 8/14/12)

(Last four pics. snapped on 8/13/12)

...and for as much as I'd enjoyed that first night in the forest (and trust me when I tell you, I did!), the next day was even that much more awesome. Coulda been because I wasn't working (as much) under the gun, time wise - which (along with the fact that I was completely alone on my second trip there), allowed me to lose myself in the setting, the story, and the make-believe person that I became...and although neither set of pictures is particularly great, the two shoots were exactly what I wanted, but more importantly - what I needed, at this point in time...

Takin' It To the Grave...Yard

(Snapped on 8/06/12)

Last Monday night, I met up again with fine art nude photographer - Tyler Keeler, for our second photo shoot together - yay! The moon was a coupla days shy of being completely full, but since Tyler had commitments later on in the week, and because he was eager to do some long exposure shots in the bright light of the almost full moon - we felt that we simply had to take advantage of that particularly gorgeous, balmy, clear night by doing some late-night pics. at his friend's farm...as well as at a pristine, old cemetery, in a neighboring town.

(Snapped on 7/30/12)

Although I myself, have done, and still do nighttime shoots every now and then - the quality of the resulting pics. is generally somewhat negligible, especially in comparison to the remarkable images that Tyler consistently captured over the course of our moonlit shoot...and because of that, I decided early on - that I wouldn't bother wasting Tyler's time, or my own - by staging self-portraits that night.

(Snapped on 7/30/12)

Part of the reason too, that I was so adamant about not shooting - was cuz the 9V battery powered flashlight that I typically use to illuminate my nighttime pics. (in lieu of the flash on my camera) had burned out...and (space case that I am), I'd forgotten to purchase a new battery for the derned thing...*guh*. Tyler however, was far more prepared than I had been - and he'd brought along this super nifty, LED flashlight with an adjustable head, that stood on a flexible, jointed tripod - its legs very similar to the ones on my Gorillapod...and when he offered to let me use it so that I could snap a few pics. of myself, for myself - I felt like I ought not refuse, and so I didn't.

(Snapped on 8/06/12)

The pictures that I took though, definitely paled in comparison to the ones that Tyler kept getting that night...nevertheless - I didn't totally hate mine, plus I did really love that old cemetery...sooooo...I made a pact with myself. As soon as I bought a new 9V battery for my flashlight, I would be allowed to return to the old cemetery...at which point I could kinda pick up where I'd left off on the night that I'd been there with Tyler.

(Snapped on 7/31/12)

Uhhhhh...yeah. So as I'm sure you can see, the selfies that I shot while illuminated in the dreamy, blue glow of Tyler's uber-bitchin' flashlight (the ones taken on 7/31/12) - turned out way freakin' better than the grainy duds that I snapped last night using my (shitty) flashlight. Thing is though, for as much as I am now itchin' to upgrade to a better light source - for late night type shoots, such as these - I am also inexplicably hardheaded and stubborn about feeling the need to stick with the equipment to which I have always been faithful.

I'm Warped...

...I really am...

(The above pics. snapped on 7/31/12)

(The above pics. snapped on 7/30/12)

...what else can I say?

Branching Out

The first time that I modeled for anyone other than myself (since the self-portraiture bug bit me, that is) was just a coupla months after falling in love with dash photography. A good girlfriend of mine had been keeping up to speed with my newfound addiction, via my sefpics album on Facebook - and (being a photography buff herself) she asked if I'd be interested in posing for her. I said, "Yes", we shot at my house on May 12th, 2010 - and had an absolute ton of fun doing it...but. That was the last time that I ever did anything like that, until this past Sunday...more than two whole years after that day at my house with my friend.

I hadn't looked at these portraits, in I don't know how long...but in filing through 'em for the first time in ages, while trying to choose which ones to share in this post - I cringed when I noticed how awkward I looked in the bulk of the pics. that my girlfriend had taken. My son when he saw them, even commented, "Mom, you were terrible at this stuff back then" - Ha!

 Next though, I realized how much things have changed since way back when these pictures were snapped. Liiiiiike...I hadn't yet sold my beloved Big Ugly Truck (*wah*), my hair was still short (so glad it's finally grown out), and I was smiling in many of the hundreds of images....something that almost never happens in the portraits that I snap of myself.

Fast forward to last weekend when the plans that I'd made to collaborate artistically with an extremely gifted, professional photographer - who specializes in both color and black and white fine art nudes - finally came to fruition.

I met Tyler Keeler a few weeks ago, while at the home of mutual friends - and after checking out each other's work, we then talked about combining forces. The idea being that we bring our respective gear to a designated location - so that Tyler could take some pictures of me, and I could do some selfies as well.

We arrived at Goose Creek, fairly late in the afternoon - and as I contemplated how best to take advantage of the gorgeous setting, by fiddling with camera placement and all that - it occurred to me that it was much more important for Tyler to get his pics while we were both there together, and the light was still good...I could always come back another time to do mine.

I carried my camera and the little table that it stands on, over to a rock on the bank for safe keeping - and announced, "Ok, I'm gonna get naked now"...and almost immediately after I did - we got to work.

I realized right away, that the differences between being my own model (versus modeling for somebody else) are pretty pronounced. Where I'm used to only having a second or two, and sometimes just a fraction of a second to hold each pose for every individual shot that I take, as Tyler's model I was instead holding completely static poses, or staying in one position for extended periods of time. I was a bit blown away by how fatiguing it can be to keep perfectly still for so long...or other times - by bracing myself against the rocks under the water's surface, so that I wouldn't creep downstream and out of frame.

The other main difference (and the thing that I was most nervous about, leading up to my big shoot with Tyler) was giving the creative control over to a photographer other than myself. Once we got started though, this became a non-issue. I understood, and very much appreciated Tyler's vision...and so contrary to what I'd initially expected, it was nothing to hand him the reins.

Is that not so cool?!

We took a short break so Tyler could put a new memory card in his camera - and at that point I asked if he'd be ok with me taking a handful of selfies, real quick. Not surprisingly, he wholeheartedly encouraged me to do so, plus - he took some very nifty pics. of me taking the pictures of myself! Bonus!

(Snapped on 7/22/12)

I did find it odd, that the most difficult part of the day for me - was switching gears from straight modeling, to getting into self-portraiture mode. In fact, I was so not moved by the pictures I was taking, that after only 11 frames I canned the idea, and resumed posing for Tyler instead.

Like I said though, I can always return to this spot to stage my own shoot - and if I can remember how to get there...I will.

This entire experience was truly amazing...I went home that evening feeling proud of myself - cuz I'd tried something different...for once. And I guess it kinda goes without saying, how much of an honor it was to be able to work under the auspices of a photographer of Tyler Keeler's calibre. THANK You, Tyler - for this wonderful opportunity to branch out!

I strongly encourage you guys to visit Tyler's website at: www.tjkphotography.com or the blog post that he wrote about the shoot: here. His galleries are brimming with exquisite, fine art nudes. Once you see them for yourselves, I'm sure that you'll agree.

Drowning My Sorrows

(All pics. snapped on 7/16/12)

I'm supposed to be a happy person, I swearta god I am. My kids and my friends get to see the side of me that's goofy, easily amused, and fun-loving - all the time...even when I'm in the throes of something as heart-wrenching as what I've been going through lately. It's like, when I'm in their company - they bring out the lighthearted Lauralyn...which helps me to forget about all the bullshit for awhile. But just as soon as I'm all by myself, I immediately start to drown in the misery again...which would explain why my selfies and my blog posts are so often tinged with melancholy...since I generally snap the pics., and write about 'em when I'm alone. 

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say more with these pics., and less with the words (per my continuing closed-mouth tangent) is - I finally drew the long overdue conclusion today (things are subject to change tomorrow, just so ya' know) - that it's absurdly ludicrous of me to put my life and my happiness on hold half the time these days - simply because I've let myself get sucked under by the mortifying reality that some stupid, fly-by-night, coldhearted jackass - gave me the fuckin' runaround...and that I'm just as much of a jackass, if not even more of one - for believing all of his lies...I'm smarter than that. I honestly am. Unfortunately though? Sometimes it just takes awhile before I figure these things out...

I realized that it's also comforting if I tell myself that the stupid jackass is the true idiot...and the one who really oughtta feel swallowed up by horrible sadness...but then again, he appears to have no feelings at all - so I guess that's just not an option.

Wow, see? That's amazing! I feel a million times happier already...



Thanks again, to the very nice man - who gave me not one, but two chances to take selfpics at his place!

The Hog Days of Summer

(All pigs, er - I mean PICS. snapped on 7/09/12)

Ok, soooo...obviously there's nothing all that spectacular, or racy about this post - but ya' see, I've been taking care of the most adorable, itty, bitty runt from my friends' litter of pigs - since Monday afternoon...and a.) since I've been holding the sweet, little baby in my arms or on my lap - for hours on end, each day since she came home with me - it's been tricky enough to tackle most of my regular daily duties (I'm typing this entry with one hand, for example), much less to stage my usual brand of photo shoot...and b.) even when I did find time to take a few selfies with Delores the piglet as my costar - the thought of posing naked with her, seemed decidedly wrong to me...or something... 

Mostly though, I'm just glad that I was able to squeeze in a short shoot at least - and I'm hopeful that I might get a brief break from piggy-sitting, sometime over the next few days - so that I can return to the friend's house where this group was taken, to try something a little more...(or less?)...kosher.

All righty you guys, hate to dash like this - but baby's sleeping, and she let me put her down - so...I best go do some chores before she wakes and wants her ba ba. If everything goes as planned though, the next time we meet? There'll be a meatier post and pics. to sink your teeth into.

Thanks so much to my friend for offering his place as the backdrop for a shoot, and for then giving me an open invite to come back and try some other stuff!

OH! And if you're curious to see what Baby Delores looks like up close - please click here to check out her portrait on Little Pretties.

Independence Day

(All pics. snapped on 7/03/12)

Today is The Fourth of July - which here in the U.S., is the day on which we celebrate the anniversary of officially declaring our independence from Great Britain, on the same date in 1776. We honor the occasion by gathering with friends and family - at pool parties, or backyard barbecues, and in many cases - massive quantities of alcohol are consumed. Yeeeeeee HAW!

 Setting off fireworks in order to commemorate the holiday, has long since been a tradition...ahhhhh yes. Booze and explosives...what a fabulously brilliant combination!

Here in Boyce, Va. however - there's an old gal who recently gained her own independence from an oppressive situation (albeit it on a decidedly lesser scale of tyranny)...and although my closest allies, and my sensible brain - insist that it was the best possible outcome (all things considered)...my poor, battered heart still hasn't quite come to grips with it.

For me personally, today is most certainly about observing and contemplating my newfound freedom - but to claim that I'm actually "celebrating" it, would be a gross exaggeration. At best, I am merely trying to harness my independence...to gear up for using it wisely and efficiently...in the hopes that some day soon, I will learn to appreciate and embrace it.

But ya' know? No matter how isolated and lonely it feels like I've been, since the final, bitter skirmish that led to the heartbreaking secession - the circumstances leading up to, as well as during and after the shoot at the fireworks stand seen in these pics. - helped me to realize how fortunate I am to be part of a tiny but mighty union - comprised of my few, phenomenal friends, and my incredibly devoted and loving children...and because of that, I'm inching ever closer to finally understanding that being independent of a significant other - doesn't have to equate being alone.

THANKS SO MUCH - to my friends who own the fireworks stand, for giving me free reign to do (pretty much) whatever I wanted while I was there...I know this may sound corny, but it really was a BLAST! (Heh) 

Thanks also to my bff, Curleymoe - for accompanying me on this shoot, and acting as my unofficial bodyguard and assistant creative director! 

Your continued, unconditional support and encouragement - enabled me to greet this Independence Day with the mindset that I might just be ok...